Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park
by RedHeadsRock1010
Summary: Danny and his friends are officially seniors of Casper High. A month away from graduation and suddenly Danny is sick of Amity Park's ignorance. Refusing to play innocent any longer- and hoping everyone will finally get a clue- the golden trio of Amity Park lets loose. This town is in for a wild month.
1. Rule 1

**SUMMARY:** Danny and his friends are officially seniors of Casper High. A month away from graduation and suddenly Danny is sick of Amity Park's ignorance. Refusing to play innocent any longer- _and hoping everyone will finally get a clue_ \- the golden trio of Amity Park lets loose. This town is in for a wild month.

 **A/N:** Refer to my other story _Secrets Revealed (ch. 8)_ for the full list of "Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park."

This story is loosely based off the list called **1000 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts** By: SilkenRoseDreams, but more than half of the things here are of my own creation.

* * *

 **Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#1) I will not poke Freshmen with spoons and insist their time is coming. They do not find it as funny as I do.

* * *

Danny Fenton spooned another bite of pudding. As odd as that statement may be, it was lunch time at Casper High School and a perfectly reasonable time for the town's resident half-ghost to be spooning pudding. His best friend Tucker still gave him an odd look, though.

"You hate pudding," he commented.

"It's not as bad as toast," Danny replied, pointing to the grilled horror his mother had packed him. Sam leaned over his shoulder to glare suspiciously at the green oozing out of the bread.

"Is that even toast?" she asked, skeptically. Danny shrugged. Who knew with his family?

Despite the rather normal lunch time atmosphere the trio was participating in like good little children, they had a devious plan up their sleeves- well, devious according to Tucker. Sam and Danny just call it their my-level-of-bulllshit-is-so-low-that-I-dont-give-a-fuck-anymore idea.

They were officially seniors of Amity Park's only high school, and were thoroughly pissed off. During the past four years, Danny's alter ego had finally become popular enough to be considered the town's first and only superhero, but people _still haven't got a clue._ Ignorance can only go so far. With a steady routine of protecting both good ghosts and good humans while keeping the bad ones locked up, the trio felt pretty comfortable with themselves; comfortable enough to finally tell people who they are and what they've been doing. They thought Phantom's increasing popularity in the papers would be enough for people to connect Danny Fenton to Danny Phantom- _for gods sake their pictures have even been featured next to each other before-_ but it never was.

Personally, Danny was ready to tell his parents, who were still wary of his alter-ego but gradually accept he's doing _some_ good, and since the truce he made with Vlad back in sophomore year is still intact, the elder half ghost was ready to come clean as well- but only if needed. Vlad still doesn't feel like announcing his existence in some huge, dramatic way was the right way to go about it (and Danny agrees whole heartily).

So after a deep and meaningful rant last night at Danny's house that involved the trio admitting to being _so done_ with this town, they agreed to give Amity Park some _big fucking hints_ by simply being themselves.

It's their senior year and they're going to have some fun for once.

Already searching for his first victim, Danny looked around the cafeteria. His advanced hearing allowed for some incredible eavesdropping abilities. To his left, Dash's table of A-Listers- _yes, that group still exists-_ were discussing Phantom's latest battle, and the group behind him were talking about next period's English quiz. But the most interesting conversation was going on at the other end of the trio's table, conveniently within arms reach. A group of Freshmen that included two transfer students from out of state were conversing about the town's ghost population.

"But dude," one whispered, wide-eyed, "did you see the way that one guy made a gun _out of thin air_?"

"What about that ugly one that kept screaming and throwing up shadows," a girl shivered. "God, that was terrifying."

"Terrifying? I practically wet my pants! Ghost's are horrible."

Danny leaned over and poked the closest one with his clean pudding spoon. The group turned. "Well you know, you'll be like that eventually too," he explained.

The Freshmen swallowed. "W-what do you mean?" one whispered.

"Think about it, ghosts are people, right? They're just _dead_ people. That means that when you die, you're going to become a ghost too!" Danny grinned as if proud of his analysis. "Isn't that great?" Everyone at the table looked green.

"And you're what, fourteen?" Danny continued. "Considering how low the life expectancy of Amity Park is, and the fact you're newbies to this place, you're already half way there! I'm so _jealous_!"

The two transfer students wailed and raced for the lunch room door. The Freshmen still at the table clutched their heads and muttered nonsense under their breath. Everyone in the cafeteria stopped to give the crying students odd looks, but Danny just smiled innocently at them and waved, pudding spoon still in his grasp. Eyebrows were raised and looks were shared, but everyone just shrugged and went back to their food. Weird things happened in Amity all the time, especially around the Fenton's son. Nothing to be concerned with.

Danny, not put off in the slightest by the other students' lack of interest, scooted back over to his own table. The grin on his face spoke of success.

"You're paying for their therapy," Tucker commented, glancing back at the door that was still swinging from the students' abrupt departure.

"Or their moving bill," Sam snorted, positive that those kids wouldn't stay in town for long.

When Lancer came strutting into the cafeteria with a disapproving look on his face, the shortest of the trio cackled. "And so it begins."


	2. Rule 3

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#3) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of this and make everyone pretend he died.

* * *

Danny, perfectly content with his current idea of mischief, gently painted the hands of Dash Baxter green. Thankfully the large teen was wearing his football jersey so all Danny had to cover with the fluorescent substance were his hands. Dash wouldn't be able to see his face when he woke up so there was no point in painting that.

Unfortunately, although the teacher was less than knowledgable of his actions, the students were a little more attentive. "Daniel Fenton, what do you think you're doing?" Paulina hissed quietly, glancing at the teacher to make sure she didn't hear.

"Just having a bit of fun, Paulina. Nothing to be concerned with." At Paulina's disbelieving look, Danny sighed. "Come on, Dash and I buried the hatchet a long time ago. It's just a little joke between friends, right?"

"If he kills you, I'm not coming to your funeral."

"Oh what a horribly unfortunate situation. I guess my dead body will just have to deal with not being blessed by your beauty in it's final moments." Paulina turned around to hide her snickers. Fenton really was quite entertaining. That and the fact he's probably friends with Phantom were the reasons why the A-Listers decided to stop being childish Junior year.

A couple students heard the quiet chatter and turned to look. "Uh, Danny?" Mikey questioned, terrified at the sight before him.

Said teen gave a cry of triumph when the last parts of Dash's thumbs were covered. The blonde jock was still snoring and completely unaware. "Okay, when Dash wakes up everyone look scared and follow along."

"What?" Valerie whispered incredulously from the front of the class. Danny ignored her and kicked Dash's chair.

The teen woke with a start and yawned. Noticing that the teacher was still droning on and uninformed about his afternoon nap, the teen elbowed Paulina who was sitting in front of him. "Hey, Paulina, what part are we on?" The girl flinched but remained facing forward. Dash poked her again and the girl gave a terrified squeak. Confused, the male noticed the odd looks he was receiving from the rest of the class. As a last resort, he turned around to tap Danny's desk. "Hey, Fenton, what did I miss?"

Danny looked up and gasped sharply. "Dash...?" he whispered. "Oh god." Danny looked around sharply. "You're not supposed to be here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, I understand, my parents are experts on this stuff, but you can't get your old life back, Dash," Danny coaxed, pity in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Fenton, seriously, what the fuck are you on?" Dash snapped, keeping his voice low.

Danny jumped backwards in his seat. "Oh no, anger is the first to manifest. This isn't good. God, Dash, please don't kill any of us."

Dash, angry and confused, turned to Mikey. "Why does Fenton think I'm gonna-" he didn't even get halfway through his sentence before Mikey caught on and jerked sideways. "What the fuck?" Dash cried, softly. He looked around the classroom and noticed the fearful glances everyone was giving him- except a couple people who were facing downwards with their mouths covered and shoulders shaking. What was going on?

"Dash," Paulina whispered, finally turning around and grasping the jock's hands, "It's okay, you'll be fine. You just need to let go."

"Paulina, you are seriously creeping me out," the jock informed.

"Dude, I'm so sorry," Kwan whispered, sadly from Dash's left. "You were my best friend. You need to let go, though."

" _Were?_ "

"Danny, he's not going away. You know how to do this, right? Your parents would have taught you how to deal with them _,"_ Paulina begged, forcing Dash to turn around and look at Danny.

"Fenton, if this is your idea of a joke-"

"Oh, Dash, death is never a joke," Danny coaxed. "The memories are always a little fuzzy when they come to, but your last moments will catch up to you eventually."

Dash raised his hands to grip his hair tightly. "Danny what about you talking abo- _oh my god!_ " Finally noticing his new coloring, the teen gazed down at his fingers in shock. "No, wait," he whispered, finally registering the looks of pity he was receiving. "No. _No,"_ he muttered in disbelief, gazing at Danny for answers.

"I'm sorry Dash," Danny whispered, patting the jock's arm affectionally, but somehow managing to make it look like his arm went through him. Danny jerked back, startled, while Dash whimpered. The class snickered into their hands, impressed by Danny's tricks and acting. When Dash turned to look at them, they regained their composure and gave his comforting looks.

"It's okay, Dash," Danny smiled, eyes surprising wet.

"You can let go," Sam echoed.

"Move on," Tucker joined, voicing cracking slightly.

The class as a whole silently whispered words of comfort that pushed the teen over the edge. Dash suddenly shot up from his seat and screamed. The teacher, who was ignorant but not mute, jumped and turned to her class. All her students were facing forwards except Dashiel Baxter, who was standing up and looking down at his strongly colored hands. "Dash," she asked, "Is there a problem?"

The teen's eyes watered as he raised his head to answer the teacher. "I'm dead!" he wailed, arms shaking.

"Mr. Baxter, I understand that this subject is difficult for you, and with the test coming up I know you're worried, but proclaiming your failure out loud is disruptive to my class."

"But I'm _dead_!" he cried again, racing forward and slamming head first into the blackboard. Dash didn't even have time to register that he didn't faze through the wall like he expected to before everything faded to black. The teacher crossed her arms at the unconscious teen on the floor and look unimpressed.

"Asking to go to the nurses office in an attempt to avoid class is one thing, but slamming face first into the wall is another," she muttered. "First transfer students claiming they're going to die and now students slamming into walls while announcing their death? What has come over this school's population?"

"I don't know, Ms. Carpenter," Danny piped up innocently from the back of the class. "Maybe it's just the stress getting to him. It is senior year after all."


	3. Rule 7

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#7) I am not allowed to trick the school into thinking I got a sex change using my cousin/clone. My cousin/clone is also not allowed to pull up her shirt in an attempt to prove this.

* * *

Though studies show that teenage males are typically inattentive when it comes to other males, when one suddenly obtains two obvious features that he _should not have_ , it's bound to gain attention from other testosterone driven beings. That's why when Danny Fenton came to school wearing a wig with two watermelons attached to his chest, everyone in the vicinity, even the males, noticed.

"Oh god," Paulina muttered, covering her eyes as the golden trio walked by her locker. "What is he doing now?"

"I think he's crossdressing," Star supplied.

Dash, still under the impression that yesterday had all been a hallucination, snickered into his hand. However, Kwan's comment that Fenton actually looked good as a girl shut him up and made him look twice.

Danny ignored the whispers and strutted down the hall with a big smile on his face and Sam and Tucker at his side. Sam was blank-faced, but Tucker couldn't seem to keep in his giggles at the looks they were getting. He leaned in close to Danny's ear and whispered, "God, this is the best thing we've come up with yet."

The boy/girl in Danny's signature clothing gave Tucker a look. "You just like seeing me with boobs," he/she deadpanned.

"This is true."

The sound of Sam slapping Tucker resonated through the hall.

With the ringing of the school bell, those who had first period with the trio eagerly made their way to their classroom. This was going to be interesting. Danny took his seat as if nothing was amiss and watched his amused classmates give him looks out of the corner of their eye. They had all heard what happened to Dash in fifth period yesterday and knew Danny was up to something again.

Valerie sat down, took one look at Danny's current appearance, and her forehead met her desk with a loud smack. "What the fuck are you three doing," she choked, knowing full well who was pretending to be her friend right now.

"Hey Val!" Danielle/Danny called affectionately, waving. Valerie groaned.

For the first couple minutes of class nothing happened. The teacher was a stern, old lady who claimed to always want her classes' to pay attention, but she hardly ever turned around to check if they actually were. Fortunately for the eagerly waiting students, she decided to ask questions today and was forced to pick students to answer them. She turned around and chose her favorite scapegoat right off the bat.

"Daniel," she snapped, eyeing the grinning teen in the back of the classroom. "If you were paying attention, you'd be able to tell me what the answer on the board is."

Danny blinked. "I am paying attention, I just don't know the answer," he replied.

"Don't give me cheek, young man."

"Woman."

The teacher faulted for a second. "Excuse me?"

"W-O-M-A-N," Danny spelled, slowly. "I'm a girl."

Flustered, the teacher finally noticed Danny's extra body parts. The class laughed as she seemed unsure how to handle this situation. "Daniel Fenton, this is uncalled for and completely disrespectful," she sputtered, cheeks puffing out in anger as she marched to stand over the teen. "Now take these out of your shirt and pull that wig off this _instant_!"

Danny frowned. "What are you talking about? I'm not wearing a wig and I don't have anything strapped to my chest."

"I do not find this funny, Mr. Fenton-"

"-Ms.-"

"- _and_ I will take this to the principal if you insist on keeping this practical joke going for any longer."

The class stopped laughing. Having to go to the principal's office during the last month before senior graduation would suck, especially if it ruined your chances of getting into a good college.

"Hey, Danny," Kwan whispered, leaning backwards. "Just take it off, man. It's not worth it."

"Yeah, it was funny, dude, trust me. But enough is enough," another boy commented, quietly.

Danny's face pinched in anger. From the front of the class Valerie whimpered, knowing full well what Danielle would do next. Something Valerie had learned Junior year when she pieced together Danny's secret was to never, under any circumstances, piss off a Halfa.

The teacher watched in surprise as Danny's face didn't give her the look of fear she was hoping for. Instead, Danny scowled and slammed his hands against his desk. "Any why is it that you can't accept that I'm a girl? Is my identity affecting your ability to teach? Because from what I've seen so far, you're doing a pretty terrible job _without_ my help."

"Cease and desist, Daniel Fenton, or so help me I will have you expelled for making a mockery of the female body!" the teacher screeched.

"Mock this, bitch!" Danny cried before pulling up his shirt.

By the end of the day, everyone in Casper High believed Danny Fenton had truly gotten a sex change. And thanks to Valerie, no one but Tucker had a picture to prove it.

* * *

"You did _what_?" Danny grinned, raising his eyebrows at the girl still wearing his clothes. "And you didn't get me expelled for it?"

"You heard me, mister! Am I the best cousin ever or what?" Danielle cackled, crossing her arms and raising her chin in triumph.

"Oh my god," Sam muttered, looking green. "One of you is bad enough. Seriously."

Tucker cradled his PDA that held 'precious content' with the utmost care. "Danielle, my dear, you need to visit more often."

Danny and Danielle gave him the same dry look while Sam kicked him in the shins. "You just like seeing me with boobs," they deadpanned together.

"Me and half the school now. This isn't going away for a _long_ time," Tucker snickered. "Hey, Danny? Think they'll let you in the girls restroom tomorrow?"

For his comment, Tucker Foley could now proudly claim what it felt like to be slapped by three people. He did not wish to repeat the incident, but at least he hadn't cried.

* * *

 **A/N:** I understand that you do not have to change your physical body parts to be transgender, but as I am not trans, I am limited to the amount of knowledge I have of someone in that situation. My friend is trying to teach me, but I will never be able to fully understand her troubles because I AM NOT HER so I'm sorry if you find this offensive in any way.


	4. Rule 17

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#17) I will not attempt to contact the dead using rituals I found from a book in the library. I will just walk outside. Or find Danny Fenton.

* * *

For safety reasons, Casper High was upgraded with the greatest ghost-detecting technology on the market, courtesy of Jack and Maddie Fenton. Unfortunately, in a town overrun by ghosts people often forget that there are other dangers besides the paranormal to consider. Despite the school's latest and greatest security system that detects high levels of ecto-energy, it was unable to prevent a group of teenagers from entering in the middle of the night.

Climbing out of the the vent in the english hallway, a boy of about fifteen motioned for the people behind him that the coast was clear. Three more students gingerly made their way towards him. "Guys, I really don't think we should be doing this," one of the younger boys whispered.

The first kid out scowled at him. "You're going to chicken out _now_? We're almost there."

One of the girls appeared apprehensive as well as the group walked down the empty halls. "What if we get caught, though? Or what if a ghost comes? Brandon, this is a horrible idea," she hissed, grabbing the arm of the student closest to her.

"Shut up, Saisha! It wasn't even my idea!"

The last girl made a noise of distress. "I-it's okay, I don't care anymore," she whispered. "Let's just get out of here."

Brandon shot the first girl a look of disgust. "Great, now you're making Kathy feel guilty for wanting to see her grandma. Way to go."

"Fuck you," Saisha growled in response, grasping the hands of the smaller female. "I want to help too, but sneaking into the school at night is not the way to go about this!"

"Guys, would you be quiet!" the last boy snapped, peaking around the corner.

In a hushed voice, Brandon glared at Saisha. "Sneaking into the school at night is the _only_ way to go about this! We don't know much about ghosts so we need to look in the library to find out more."

"Why don't we just ask the Fentons?"

"No way! You know how anal they are about safety and not interacting with ghosts."

"And _why_ are you so certain there's a book in the school library about contacting the dead?"

"I heard some goth senior talking about yesterday. She looked creepy and voodoo-y, she's probably done this a thousand times!"

Saisha gave him a dry look. "Wow, that's really reliable."

Finally reaching the doors of the library, the students sucked in a breath. It was really creepy to be walking the dark halls of the school with only a couple of flashlights. Brandon shoved the other boy impatiently. "Well? Come on, Tom, open it."

Tom pushed his hands against the glass doors and let out a relieved sigh when no alarms went off. "Wow," he muttered, "the school really needs to get some better security against humans."

"Yeah, but who would want to steal from a school, though?" Saisha shrugged, pushing Kathy and Brandon through the open door. The group tip-toed past the front desk to avoid the cameras and slipped into the archive room. There was a big book in the center of the table that held the list of all the resources available in the library currently. Tom went to work searching for paranormal keywords while Brandon, Saisha, and Kathy grazed the shelves.

"There's a surprising lack of supernatural nonfiction in a school that's overrun by ghosts everyday," Tom commented after a few minutes, raising an eyebrow at all the fictional children stories they had on file. "Are you sure we can trust your source? Overhearing from a spooky-looking goth senior that there's some supposed ritual book in the library that can help us contact the dead is a little sketchy."

"Shut up!" Brandon hissed. "Do you have a better idea?" Tom rolled his eyes but went back to work.

"I'm really sorry I brought you all into this," Kathy whispered, clutching her shoulders. "You can go home if you'd like."

Saisha gripped one of Kathy's hands tight and grinned at her. "Hey, it's cool. Death's never fun and I know you miss your grandmother. We _want_ to do this for you." Kathy's shoulders sagged and she smiled.

Brandon suddenly turned a corner and noticed a single book standing upright on a table. It was purple and green with an odd looking symbol on the front. He reached out to move it and jumped back when he felt an odd pulse from the pages. "No fucking way," Brandon laughed, yelling over his shoulder. "Dudes, I think I found it!" The other kids quickly made their way over to the table in the back.

Tom gave the book a skeptic look. "That was _definitely_ not in the archives."

"Who cares," Saisha grinned, "we got it so lets just hurry up and go!"

Tom grabbed her wrist when she tried to take the book off the table. "Wait! We can't just take it! Someone would definitely notice and I don't fancy being arrested for something as stupid as stealing a book."

"Fine, then lets just do this here. Do you mind, Kathy?" Said girl shook her head. She was just excited to finally be able to talk to her recently deceased grandmother again.

The kids took a seat around the table. When no one moved to open the book, Brandon flipped one of its pages and was pleasantly surprised when it opened for him.

Saisha shivered. "Is it just me or did the air suddenly get cooler?" she said, looking around the empty library.

Brandon ignored her and scanned the pages of black and green ink quickly. "Woah," he whispered in awe, "this looks like the real deal. And what do you know! The first spell in here is about contacting the dead- how lucky is that?"

"Yeah, what a coincidence," Tom muttered.

The book was passed between each of them so they could read the procedures for summoning a spirit. After looking the pages over, Saisha smiled. "Wow, this actually sounds pretty easy. I thought we'd have to use our own blood or something, but it's just a bunch of words we have to say out loud."

"I think the blood was already provided," Tom scowled, pulling his hand off the cover to reveal a green and red mess of colors staining it. "This is disgusting."

"Oh give it a rest," Brandon snapped, grabbing the book back. "I'll start. It looks like there's a couple parts to it so we'll just each read out a paragraph and say the name of the person we wish to meet, I guess."

"The spell's in another language, though. I am totally going to butcher the pronunciation," Saisha groaned.

Clearing his throat, Brandon looked around the table before starting. His eyes locked with the female trembling with anticipation across from him and was motivated to begin. _"Egressi sunt mortui quantum non quaerimus partes non possumus testor antiquis sidus suum proferre et effugi lacessit."_

Tom's hands trembled as the book was passed to him. The air felt cold and forbidding. His voice sputtered, but the words still flowed, _"C-Cupimus vindicare its s-suum, non potest eum pro vivis, quam quaerimus spiritus reprehendimus propter aequilibrium occidam et ego vivere."_

Saisha swallowed, shaking. _"Et mitte ultra hud, quaero maximum et longe latence, scire tantum deformes et non esse metuendum, nos scrutari curet discere nec iacere."_

A violent wind made the students shriek, pausing their chanting. The sophomores whimpered, second guessing their decision to come here, before Kathy suddenly grabbed the book and shouted, _"Spiritu Sancto, et homo, qui ambulat in Line, tuo ductu opus in has die, frangere paciscor est obviate dengue, et accipere erit Inferno redder!_ Grandmother Regina Kelley _!"_

The words were finished and Kathy dropped the book. It's pages lit up with the color of ectoplasm while the wind inside the library continued to defy the laws of physics. Terrified beyond comprehension, the sophomores jumped up and screamed, no longer concerned about being caught. There was green light everywhere and for a second the students thought they were dying. Finally, the wind slowed and the silhouette of a figure appeared floating above the book. As the green lights stopped flashing, the figure dropped to the table- somehow managing to land on its feet- with a dull thud and groaned. The sophomores cautiously peeked out from their hiding places and gasped.

"Is that...?" Saisha choked.

Danny Fenton, ghost pajamas and all, blinked down at the students cowering before him.

The kids made various sounds of terror and backed up a step. Seeing this, Danny frowned and looked around. Why was he in the Casper High library? Wasn't he just getting ready for bed a second ago? Finally noticing the book he was standing on, the senior crouched down- startling the poor sophomores again- and picked it up. He took one glance at the handwriting on the cover and groaned. "Sam!" he cried. "You're supposed to _include_ me in the pranks, not make me one of them!" Danny looked down at his pajamas that were covered in the red and green gunk that used to be on the pages of the book. "Wait, is that my _blood_? What the fuck, Sam? When did you even-?" Danny threw his hands up in the air. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

The senior turned to the sophomores. After a few seconds of silence he said, "I suppose saying _"boo"_ would be a little too cliche for your tastes, right?" The students continued to stare at him, jaws touching the floor. Getting no response, Danny grinned, amused.

"I guess I'll be going now," he announced, cheerfully waving at the frozen kids. "See you at school tomorrow!" A quick flash of light and both Danny Fenton and the book were gone.

The students remained still until the silence in the library around them became suffocating.

"Well," Saisha commented dryly, "at least he's a boy again."

* * *

 ** _You have 6 unheard messages. First unheard message._**

 _"Sam, what the fuck?"_

 _*beep* **Deleted.**_

 _"No, seriously, how the fuck did you do that?"_

 _*beep*_ _ **Deleted.**_

 _"My blood, Sam, you used MY BLOOD. How in the world did you even get that?"_

 _*beep*_ _ **Deleted.**_

 _"I was wearing my ghost pajamas._ _I will never be able to look those kids in the eyes again."_

 _*beep*_ _ **Deleted.**_

 _"Stop fucking deleting my messages. I know that's what you're doing, Sam."_

 _*beep*_ _ **Deleted.**_

 _"Not cool."_

 _*beep*_ _ **Deleted.**_

Sam cackled evilly.

* * *

 ** _You have 1 unheard message._**

 _"Tucker, if you had anything to do with this I swear to god I will tell Kwan you have a crush on him."_

* * *

 **A/N:** Sam finally joined the fun, yay! There was a review asking who these rules were meant for. I picture it like this: after Amity Park finds out Danny's secret, Lancer makes a list of all the crazy things Danny and the rest of the school did leading up to that point- just for laughs. Basically these rules apply to anyone who gets caught up in the Trio's Month of Mischief, whether or not they themselves are breaking a rule or the trio are the ones doing it.

 **English translation of the Latin spell:**

The dead are gone but not so far,

We seek the parts we cannot touch,

I call upon each ancient star,

To bring forth the one who escaped His clutch.

We wish to challenge His rightful claim,

For the living cannot pass Him by,

We search for the spirit in which we blame,

For the balance in both death and life.

Reach beyond and send it here,

Search high and low and far and wide,

Know His favored will not be feared,

We seak to learn and not to lie.

Ghost and human who walks The Line,

We need your guidance on this day,

To break the deal is to meet a fine,

And accept there will be Hell to pay.


	5. Rule 13

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#13) I am not allowed to yell for imaginary ghosts to stop time because I don't want to take a math test.

* * *

Tucker and Sam stared at Danny as he shoved his hand through the locker door. Considering the young half ghost did this everyday, they shouldn't have been surprised. However, what caused their shocked expressions was the fact he was doing this in broad daylight, surrounded by his classmates, while the warning bell for class rang in the background.

"Wow," Sam commented, casually leaning against the row of lockers behind her. "You're really serious about this whole thing." Honestly, she had been expecting Danny to drop out after three days.

Danny raised an eyebrow. "The 'no more secret thing?' Yeah, I am," he responded, pulling out two books and continuing to dig for his pencil bag.

"But seriously, though," Tucker muttered, looking around at the students lingering about. "You're sticking your hand through a wall and they _still_ haven't noticed."

Danny groaned, hand still in his locker, and pressed his head against the metal door. "I can't get more _fucking obvious_ than this," he shouted, raising his voice and gesturing to his 'missing' arm, only succeeding in getting odd passing glances from a few people. "God- what? Just look for Clockwork's sake. _This isn't exactly normal!_ "

Sam snickered at the smaller teen's distress. "You could always just announce over the school news that you're Danny Phantom and leave it at that."

Tucker and Danny shook their heads sadly. "Sam, Sam, Sam- where's your sense of drama? Adventure?" Tucker sighed dramatically, clutching his heart as if in pain. "You can't make it _too_ easy for them."

"Yeah," Danny scowled, pulling his arm out of the wall. "And don't act like you aren't having fun with this too, you jerk. I haven't forgotten about last night."

Sam winked, her purple lipstick forming a smirk.

Honestly lost, Tucker looked back and forth between his two best friends. "Did I miss something?"

Danny ignored him in favor of waving at a group of four underclassmen (maybe sophomores?) that walked by. The kids turned white under his innocent-looking smile before squeaking and running off with small whispers of "summoning" and "ghost pjs."

"Okay, I definitely missed something," Tucker muttered.

Sam slapped his red hat as the trio moved to their third period class. "Get with the program, genius. Operation 'Make Amity Park Get a Clue' has already started, and you're in last place."

"L-last place!" Tucker shrieked, pausing at the doorway while Sam and Danny ducked into their seats. "Wait, we're keeping track?"

"Mr. Foley," the teacher, a stern, old woman, scowled. "If you're going to walk in at the last possible moment, please keep your exclamations of your placement to yourself. No one cares that you were last to class. _Sit down_."

The class snickered. To Tucker's relief, the trio didn't share this class with any of the A-listers. Kwan would have never stopped teasing him about this.

The teen reluctantly took the detention slip offered to him and sat behind Danny who was laughing into his hand. Tucker retaliated by swiftly kicking his friend in the butt- well, tried to actually. Said butt was currently making itself intangible so Tucker had no choice but to fume in silence.

"You guys suck," he whispered after a few seconds, leaning forward so both Sam and Danny could hear him.

"Sorry, Tuck," Danny whispered back, rubbing his neck nervously. "We honestly didn't mean to get you in trouble. You're the one that shouted, though."

"Look on the bright side, now you can use that detention to think of another idea for our operation," Sam suggested, taking out a pencil and a piece of paper. Ignoring the fact that an optimistic Sam was utterly terrifying to him, Tucker pondered this for a moment and agreed that the idea had some merit. He'd have to stay after school today with only one teacher to guard him. Oh, all the mischief he could set up in that time! The possibilities were endless.

His evil grin went unnoticed by the others in the room, but the students collectively felt a forbidding chill run down their spines. Thankfully they all passed it off as fear for the math test they were currently being handed, and not the inner workings of an evil genius in the making.

As the teacher placed the test on the trios desks, she sneered at Tucker. Once she turned her back, the teen finally had enough courage to stick his tongue out in retaliation.

"Yeah, that'll show her," Sam said. Tucker ignored her.

The class settled into a tense silence as each student worked diligently to complete their assignment. Tucker and Sam were having no trouble with the test, but a certain half ghost who had missed Monday's lecture in order to 'box' the Box Ghost was struggling to answer question one.

After a few more minutes of silent groaning and pleading for God to take him now, the young halfa had an idea.

* * *

Mrs. Pencilton took pride in the complete and utter authority she held over her class. After all, a quiet class meant a peaceful, relaxing period for the teacher. She had heard of several disruptions that had been occurring over the last couple days- including students pulling their clothes off, yelling out in the middle of lectures, and even a possible break in last night- but she was certain her class would _not_ be added to that list of misbehavior.

She hummed to herself as she paced up and down the isle, making sure none of her students were cheating, before settling in the front of the room with a pleased smile.

Silence was absolutely blissful-

 ** _"CLOCKWORK!"_**

-and the little fucker that had just ruined it would be seeing the green lights of the ghost zone very soon.

* * *

"Daniel, I cannot simply pause time whenever you call me," Clockwork drawled.

Danny blinked at him and gestured to the frozen face of the furious teacher that had been storming towards him moments before.

"...this is an exception."

"Nah, just admit it, you love me," Danny snickered, reaching out to hug the purple ghost.

"My feelings regarding your wellbeing are in fact stronger than the observants would like them to be, but that is beside the point."

"Since when have you ever listened to the Observants? They're just a bunch of useless, one-eyed dickturds anyways."

"That is not a real word, and they can hear you."

"I don't care, and _good_. It's about time someone knocked them down a peg or two. Their egos are so big, their heads can no longer fit through doorways!"

Clockwork smiled. "Daniel," he chided, patting the teen's back before releasing him. Danny slumped in his seat and pouted.

"Come on, Clockwork! Give me something here," he moaned. "It's not my fault the Box Ghost decided to keep me from learning this stuff. You keep lecturing me on my heroic duties, but if these so called duties keep making me fail tests, I'm not exactly learning a good lesson here about 'responsibility' other than it _sucks_."

"You know the rules. I cannot interfere with the timeline unless absolutely necessary or-"

"-if interfering with the timeline is an event that was _supposed_ to happen or will increase the chances of something good for all of humanity happening," Danny grumbled, crossing his arms. "I know."

"Exactly. I don't think the good of all humanity rests on you passing a math test," Clockwork commented, then winced.

Danny raised an eyebrow, but refused to acknowledge the unintentional reminder of Dan. "Ughhhhhhh," he groaned. "Can you at least keep time paused long enough for me to see Tucker and Sam's answers? Or maybe the teacher's notes?"

Clockwork shook his head as he changed to his teenage form. "Sorry, Daniel, I have interfered long enough." The ancient ghost pressed a button on the top of his staff before floating towards the portal in made directly in front of Danny. The teen sighed but waved goodbye to his ghost guardian.

Suddenly Clockwork paused before turning around to remove Danny's time necklace. "By the way, Daniel, the Observants say hi."

As the portal closed slowly, Danny cried out, "Yeah? Well tell them they can suck Pariah Dark's spiky, metal-"

"DANIEL FENTON!"

Danny blinked at the fuming teacher that was suddenly in front of him. Realizing that time had been un-paused for several seconds, Danny swore. "That shit-head totally planned this!" he exclaimed.

"DENTION, DANIEL!"

As the teacher ranted about disrespect in her classroom and the students laughed until they fell out of their chairs, Tucker leaned over and whispered to Danny while waving his detention slip, "Look on the bright side, at least you'll have company."

* * *

 **A/N:** A smug Tucker is a happy Tucker. The pace was a little different with this chapter because I added more of the trio's thoughts about their current situation instead of just the basic third person limited viewpoints on their humorous deeds. That won't happen often, I promise.


	6. Rule 15

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#15) I am forbidden from changing the morning Casper Amity News Network (C.A.N.) jingle to the "Ghost Busters" theme song. Among other obvious things.

* * *

Sam knew the minute she walked into class that it would be a very good day. She didn't know which evidence supported this more, Tucker's maniacal grin or Danny's empty seat.

"Alright, what did you two do this time?" she asked, sitting down behind the techno geek.

If possible, Tucker's grin widened. "Well, since a certain someone got us both detention yesterday-"

"-okay, half of that wasn't even my fault."

"-Danny and I decided to use our solitary time wisely."

Sam's eyes widened. "No way. How the hell did you two escape without getting in tr- Danny can duplicate. Right," the female groaned, covering her eyes. "God, I hate you both so much right now."

Tucker laughed and faced the front. "In a few minutes, you're going to love us, trust me."

The class settled to a quiet hum as the teacher turned on the T.V. to play the daily news show, C.A.N.N., run by the students in Casper High's media production class.

 **"Good morning, Casper High. I'm Danny Phantom."**

 **"And I'm Ember McLain."**

 **"Today is Friday, March 18th. Let's go to Frostbite for the pledge."**

The sound of Valerie's head hitting the desk could only be heard across the classroom, but Sam's shriek of laughter reached the ears of every single frozen student and faculty on campus as the Ghost Busters theme song played while a frost giant danced in American flag boxers.

* * *

The overweight english teacher, Mr. Lancer, glanced up from his morning coffee to the interesting sight of ghosts running the school news. Seeing nothing extremely out of the ordinary, he shrugged and continued to enjoy his free period in the break room.

At least he tried to. One can hardly ignore the principal when they walk into a room.

Ms. Ishimaya's heels clicked ominously as she made her way to the teacher attempting to sink into his seat. Gripping the edge of his chair and leaning over to stare him dead in the eyes, she hissed, "These are your students. Fix. This."

Lancer cleared his throat. "Unless there has been a change in the class registry, I don't recall ever teaching ghosts."

The woman's gaze narrowed. "I am not discussing the ghosts. It's those seniors who have been causing a ruckus since day one of their attendance here. Now, however, instead of skipping class and taking their pranks elsewhere, they have brought their mischief to our esteemed school."

"Anyone could have told the ghosts where to find the studio. It's not like they need a key to get in anyways," Lancer pointed out, defending his favorite students.

Ishimaya said nothing as she straightened up and turned around. Just before exiting the doorway, she glanced back at Lancer. "You will fix this, Lancer. Those three only listen to you."

Though the words caused a warm feeling to spread through the teacher, he pushed it down in favor of focusing on his 'Golden Trio's' mischief makings of the day. The dancing abominable snowman had left and everyone's favorite ghost hero was back on screen.

 _"Huh,"_ Lancer thought, listening to the quiet of the school halls that were usually bustling with noise while the news played, _"at least people are paying attention for once."_

* * *

 **"Today is a beautiful day to be outside, but unfortunately for you dipshits, you're stuck in school."**

 **"On slightly less aggressive note, to the administrative staff: don't worry. You trust me, right? Your normal anchors are here and okay!"**

The camera jerks to show the studio window separating the anchors from the technical producers. Noticing they're on screen, the kids in the studio grin and wave back. The camera pans to Phantom and Ember again.

 **"See! They're totally cool. Not that they're cool with** _ **this,**_ **I mean. Because we totally had to force them to let us use their equipment."**

 **"Yeah, it took** _ **a lot**_ **of effort to convince them."**

 **"Definitely."**

 **"Anyways, since we're your anchors for today, we control how this pathetic little human show goes. So let's head over to my Skulkey Wulkey for a informational segment on weapons use."**

As the camera shot changes to show a large metallic ghost frowning in front of a green screen, Danny Phantom's snickers can still be heard in the background.

 _ **"Skulkey Wulkey**_ **?"**

 **"I will not hesitate to incinerate you, you infuriating whelp. And whoever made my background a piece of green jello will find themselves spending an eternity in a cage."**

The students and Phantom giggle. The robotic ghosts shoots a flare off screen and Phantom screeches before going silent.

 **"Much better. Now, you humans live boring, dull lives that have absolutely no purpose. I mean, you've got all these rules you have to follow and regulations and restrictions that just seem pointless. So what if your kid wants to take a gun to school? The kindergarten playground gets rough! He's going to need some way to protect himself."**

A slamming noise from offscreen can be heard as Phantom face-plants the anchor desk.

 **"But not to worry! That's why I'm here with you today. I've got over a thousand different weapons that kids will** _ **love**_ **, I assure you. Does Brad keep pulling your pigtails? Give him a good squirt of this baby! It may look like a regular spray bottle, but Brad definitely won't think that after his eyes start melting from their sockets."**

 ** _"Skulker, oh my god. You can't just stay stuff like that."_**

 **"Hey! It's my turn now, Whelp. Stay on your own camera. As I was saying, I also have some nifty little nanobots that you can place on toilet seats, and when your enemy comes to sit down, it'll go right up their-"**

 ** _"OKAY! Moving on!"_**

Phantom's cry initiates several changes as Skulker's mic cuts off and the camera flips to show Phantom and Ember again. The female ghost is cracking up.

 **"That last one's my favorite!"**

 **"Yeah, I bet it is. Next up, we're going to take a short commercial break and go to Youngblood for a quick message."**

* * *

Lancer squinted at the blank screen before him. "I don't understand. Is this supposed to be a joke?"

* * *

 **"Heya, kids! I'm Youngblood, and I'm going to make your teachers think you're all crazy for the next couple of seconds."**

The small glowing cowboy snickers into his hands. The parrot on his shoulder rolls it's eyes and nudges for the boy to continue.

 **"Alright, well, I'm here to show you this awesome anti-aging cream called Avagene. If you want to look young forever, use this, or you can just do what I did and die."**

 ** _"Youngblood!"_**

* * *

"I can't tell if that little ghost dude was serious or not," Kwan muttered, nudging his best friend.

Dash nodded back absentmindedly, too busy trying to hold in his laughter to pay much attention to his fellow classmates. "God, Fenton and the others really outdid themselves this time."

"Wait, you think they did this?"

"Have you been paying attention at all this week? It's definitely them. Plus goth chick's cracking up in the back right now and the dweeb's got that stupid smug look on his face like when he aces a math test."

"Oh, wow. I wonder how they got the ghosts to listen to them."

"Kwan, seriously, pay attention," Dash snickered, pointing at the screen. "The ghosts aren't really listening _at all_."

Off to the side, Paulina looked around the classroom at everyone's enraptured expression. "I don't get it, what's so great about a blank wall?"

* * *

 **"Up next, we've given our news corespondent a bit of a challenge-" SLAM.**

The camera suddenly falls forward and the audience is treated to a beautiful view of the tile floor.

 **"Box Ghost, seriously? It's not that hard to work a camera. It's on a tripod. You don't even have to touch it."**

 **"THIS CONTRAPTION IS NOT ONE OF BEAUTIFULLY PROPORTIONATE SIDES LIKE MY BOXES OF DOOM. IT IS A CYLINDRICAL CONTAINER OF MEASURES SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS ME HAS DIFFICULTY UNDERSTANDING."**

 **"Dude, just pick up the camera."**

The shot, though a but shakily, manages to return to its original position.

 **"Okay, as I was saying, we've given a challenge to our news correspondent Johnny, who has quite a filthy mouth on him."**

 **"For his PSA segment, he's not allowed to use any foul language. Let's head over there now."**

A transition signals the change of scenery and a scruffy looking male on a motorbike comes into the picture.

 **"What the fuck do you mean I can't curse?"**

 ** _"Goddamn it, Johnny."_**

* * *

"Tucker," Sam wheezed, slamming her fist against her desk repetitively. "H-How in the world?"

"Oh, the ghosts were more than happy to help," Tucker smirked. "Chaos is kind of their thing, after all."

Sam snorted once more before pointing towards the front of the classroom. "Have fun explaining all this to Valerie. Now she definitely knows there's something going on, and you're going to be the one to tell her about it."

The male took one look at Valerie's fuming face and gulped loudly. This was not going to be a fun conversation.

* * *

 **"Up next, I've got a special treat for all of you! We're going to call my Unckie Vlad and ask him a very important question."**

 **"No way, Phantom. Seriously? Oh man, I have** _ **got**_ **to hear this."**

The town's hero pulls out a green and black cellphone with little ghosts on it. He quickly punches in a number and the dial tone can be heard through the microphones.

 ** _*crackle* "Hello?"_**

 **"Yes, hello there! I've got a question for you really quickly. So, Dracula, would you consider yourself at that old age where people start to consider getting cats or are you still in denial?"**

 ** _"I don't know, Daniel. Are you at that age where boys start dating girls or do you just keep getting rejected?"_**

 **...**

 **"Wow, Dracula, that really bites."**

A long, deep sigh of defeat is heard from the phone. **"Daniel, please get back to school."**

 **"Will do, Vladdie-O! Try not to suck everyone dry today! Remember, humans need their blood to survive."**

Unckie Vlad gave one last groan before hanging up.

 **"And now we-" BANG BANG BANG.**

 **"-apparently have to go because it looks like the administrative staff called the Fentons on us!"**

 **"Dipstick, that is really ironic."**

 **"You're telling me! I deal with this everyday. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Thanks for having us, Casper High! I'm Danny Phantom."**

 **"And I'm Ember McClain."**

 **"Reporting for Casper Amity News Network. Cya!"**

Phantom winks once at the camera before several green blurs whiz by and disappear into thin air, ghostly laughter echoing in the now empty studio room. The Fenton's bust in a moment later and a scream is heard as Jack Fenton predictably covers a student in echo-slime.

The students and administration of Casper High still watching the broadcast didn't need to see that to know what happened.

They just knew.

* * *

 **A/N:** Valerie is going to have a concussion by the end of this if she keeps face-planting. My co-anchor and I just placed 2nd in the entire nation for a satirical commentary entry at STN so I had to make a chapter honoring media students and the absolute shit we have to go through to put on a daily news show.


	7. Rule 30

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#30) I will not attempt to convince my classmates that Pariah Dark was compensating for something.

* * *

Kwan Long was having a very nice day. That in itself made the teen wary of anything and everything. After living in Amity Park for so many years, he learned that a nice day in this town was a warning, not a relief.

So as the young adult, still not quite at the peek of his youth, chomped away at his afternoon snack and walked through the hallways to his next class, he kept his eyes and ears open and ready for anything- more than likely a ghost attack.

But no matter how alert he felt, nothing could prepare him for his confrontation with Danny Fenton's current conversation.

"But Pariah Dark's beef is practically the talk of the Ghost Zone!"

"Just because a couple gossiping girl ghosts didn't take you hitting on them too nicely doesn't mean the previous Ghost King had a 'party in his pants.'"

"Well they were obviously too hung up on something else to not notice the charms of Too Fine Tucker Foley."

"And you think _that_ has any relevance to the size of Pariah's "Minnie Dark?"

"All I'm saying is that armor was huge for a reason, and it ain't got nothing to do with his power levels," Tucker Foley huffed, glaring at Sam Manson who rolled her eyes.

Danny Fenton cut in suddenly as the trio headed to their classroom. "Look guys, the project description said I could write about _any_ ghost I wanted using _any_ theories I have, no matter how common or uncommon said theories may be," the boy argued.

"I didn't think you'd write about the old ghost king's goddamn penis, Danny," Sam groaned.

"Hey! With a ego that big and ancient artifacts that powerful, he's obviously compensating for something."

Kwan promptly choked on his bagel.

* * *

"...and that is why it is my belief that Danny was a brave warrior from the Aztec civilization that has lived thousands of years to protect the prosperity of humankind," Paulina finished with a large grin, a projected image of the ghost illuminating the white board behind her.

Sam leaned forward and snickered. "Hey, Danny, looks like you're an old man now."

The class laughed as Paulina huffed angrily, "I meant Danny _Phantom_ not Danny _Fenton_ for your information."

"Okay," Sam blinked, causing the class to laugh again. The hispanic at the front of the room scowled and smacked the teasing goth with her folder as she passed Sam by, giving the smirking girl a small glare as she seated herself.

Lancer stood. "Very well done, Miss Sanchez, I thoroughly enjoyed your interesting take on Mr. Phantom's origins."

"I did too!" Tucker gasped, pointing accusingly at his best friend. "Man Danny, the chicks back then were hot. You were living the good life. Well, if you were actually alive that is."

The overweight english teacher's exasperated sigh was the only thing preventing the class from falling apart again. "Can we please leave the Daniel jokes outside of the classroom?" he asked, muttering something about white vans and weird previous practical jokes. "I'm sure he hears it enough outside of school, goodness knows how often you people tease him here." Lancer shuffled his papers as he chose his next student. "Actually, Daniel, it's your turn to present your theories."

From the back of the room, a young asian male squeaked, unheard by everyone but his best friend who only sent him an odd look.

The class eagerly sat up, excited to hear the analysis of Danny Phantom from the son of two ghost hunters, experts in their field of study. Danny walked between the isles and settled himself comfortably in the front of the classroom before handing a copy of his notes to Lancer and loading his powerpoint. "Sorry to disappoint, but I didn't do my project on Phantom. I chose Pariah Dark," Danny addressed the class.

The class gasped as a rather realistic image of the ghost king's sarcophagus was shown on the projector. More than several students wondered how Danny had gotten a hold of it.

"This," the teen explained, "is the large containment cell that houses the most powerful ghost known to mankind, the previous ruler, Pariah Dark. Looking at this huge hunk of metal, its no wonder people fear his power if _that_ big of a box is needed to trap him." The slide changed to show a crown and a ring. "But what a lot of people don't know is that most of his power comes from these two ancient artifacts called "The Ring of Rage" and "The Crown of Fire."

Danny waved a hand in the air. "Think about it like this, without these two accessories, the Ghost King wouldn't even be able to match Undergrowth, and considering how Pariah's supposed to be absolutely no much for _any_ opponent, that's a huge deal. But what I have chosen to research is why exactly Pariah feels the need to compensate so incredibly if the rumors of him being well endowed are true."

Several seconds of silence followed Danny's proclamation.

"Daniel, please tell me you did not do your entire presentation on the properties of Pariah Dark's penis."

"Actually, Mr. Lancer, if you look on page twelve I delve into an analysis of his family jewels as well."

...

"Tucker made the illustrations."

* * *

 **A/N:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	8. Rule 12

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#12) Crucifixes do not repel ghosts. I will not attempt this on Danny Phantom because he will act like a dramatic little shit if I do.

* * *

After three long years, today would be the day Nick Thorpe killed Danny Phantom.

His parents were good people, Catholics at heart with a firm belief that the ghosts of Amity Park were children of God who had simply lost their way in search of him, but their son was never so eager to listen to their prayers for safe passage of misguided souls. As far as he was concerned, ghosts were manifestations of God's hatred for the humans he had created, and releasing the souls of the dead upon Amity Park was a test to see if they were able to handle what he could throw at them.

Well if God was testing him, Nick was determined to make a good impression.

After a month of being surrounded by the dead, a ghostly teen hero became well known and suddenly Nick's family and friends acted like Phantom was an angel sent by God to protect them.

Everyone thought _Lucifer_ was an angel too before he was cast out of heaven.

The worship was disturbing, really. And that's why Nick was determined to do the right thing and get rid of the strongest ghost in Amity Park for good. He'd been searching through his grandfather's old study a few days ago when a book on exorcism fell out of the shelf. This was practically a sign from God, something Nick refused to ignore.

So here he was at Casper High during lunch, the most popular spot for ghost attacks, waiting. When the first sounds of high pitched screams ended the quiet atmosphere of their lunch period, Nick was ready. He followed his fellow students as they propped lunch tables against the wall to hide behind- standard ghost procedure- but remained on his toes.

Lancer was right beside them, ordering kids to get down- _Lord of the Flies watch your heads, not the fight_ \- and if Nick looked to his left he would have noticed his company behind this table consisted of a female goth and a weird technology obsessed nerd, but the teen refused to take his eyes off the powerful ghosts battling before his very eyes.

Phantom was _fast_ and completely surrounded by teenage supporters so if Nick was going to do this, he would have to do it quick. He wasn't sure if any of the students would try and stop him, but he'd heard rumors that the Fenton's son and a few other seniors were close to Danny Phantom. He didn't want anyone to ruin this moment for him. They'd thank him later when they realized how much better they'd be without the lost soul of a teenager roaming the Earth.

The students cheered from a safe distance as the ghost hero sent a roundhouse kick to the shadow-like being to finish him off. Fights with the teen hero usually don't last long. As Phantom pulled out his famous thermos to collect the ghost, Nick moved.

Clutching a rosary to his chest, he ignored Lancer's surprised shout and the confused mutterings of his fellow classmates as he raced out from behind the table to stand in front of the startled ghost hero. Catching the ghost by surprise, he had nowhere to run when Nick began his spell.

"Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri!" he shouted, voice carrying across the lunch room as a powerful wind swept over him. The teenager glared at Phantom who stood stone still and cried once more, "Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!"

The air shifted again, but nothing about the environment or the ghost changed. Nick could hear various students and his teacher calling his name, but every sound was ignored as he glared into the unblinking eyes of a powerful enemy. He had never seen an exorcism before, but he was pretty certain the ghost was supposed to be a pile of mush on the ground by now. Instead, Phantom was extremely still- as if frozen midair. Maybe the exorcism spell trapped ghosts rather than destroyed them?

"Kid, seriously, what are you doing?" asked a female student from behind him. Her voice quivered- was she scared?

Nick barely spared the strange goth a glance, determined to keep his eyes on his target. "Stay back!" he yelled, throwing a hand behind him to ward off his classmates and reassure the female whose shoulders seemed to be shaking. "Don't worry, I won't let it get close to you."

"Try throwing Holy Water on it," suggested a black male, helpfully. Wasn't his name Tim? Tuck? "That will definitely work!"

Nick heard a large blond jock whisper to the male something about supporting Phantom, but paid no mind. Holy Water was such a good idea! If only he'd thought of it before he came here. What a waste of an opportunity.

The ghost hadn't moved an inch, but Nick could have sworn his eyes were glaring at the students that had spoken. Phantom didn't look affected by the spell, yet he hadn't left for some reason. Was the ritual finished? Did he miss something?

"Oh!" Nick whispered, struck with a sudden realization. He didn't have Holy Water, but if something pure and holy needed to be used for the ritual to activate, then he had his mother's cross with him.

"Ghost!" the teenager shouted, gaining the beings attention again when he shoved a crucifix in his face. " _Begone!_ "

Finally, there was a reaction. Phantom twitched, shuddered, and _screamed._

The air chilled and a green glow covered the ghost as it contorted its body and cried a shrill scream of despair. Nick could feel a large jock shove him and shout "what did you do?!" but he only had eyes for the ghost. Students around him wailed as Phantom withered under his exorcism spell.

He'd done it. He'd killed Phantom. He'd saved the town from the most powerful ghost in existence. Nick grinned, still holding up his crucifix while Casper High had a panic attack.

Suddenly the ghost's screams changed pitch and he formed words. "NOOOOOOO!" it cried, reaching a glowing hand out for someone to help him. Several students moved forward as if to touch him, but Phantom suddenly jerked his arm away and threw it across his eyes, bending backwards mid air and... gasping?

"Oh, oh god! Oh no. The light- it's too much! The overpowering abilities of a bearded man in sandals are compelling me," he whimpered, staring wide eyed at the crucifix. "I don't- I don't know if I can _*gasp*_ resist!"

Nick's smile dropped.

"No, _please_! I have so many regrets- tell Cujo I always suspected he was a furry, and Vlad! Holy shit I wish I could kick his ass one last time- and _for_ _the love of god_ will someone find out if Pariah Dark has a huge dick, I seriously cannot die without knowing this."

Two cries of laughter came from behind Nick as he slowly lowered the cross.

Phantom twirled around in the air and waved a gloved hand at the object. "Do I at least get a phone call? A final meal? The souls of the innocent sound nice- maybe a little hot sauce too? Some mayonnaise?"

By now, several of the students were laughing and even Lancer couldn't contain his chuckles. Nick was blushing from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, completely embarrassed and humiliated. Why had he even thought this would work? "Okay," he snapped, "you can stop now."

But Phantom continued to be a dramatic little shit as he weeped about finally seeing the light and following "sandals man" into the unknown. The class had a good laugh while Nick seriously debated about punching an extremely powerful and deadly ghost in the face before Phantom suddenly shrieked.

The male Tuck? from before had thrown a giant cooler of water from the lunch line over the ghost who _finally_ stopped whining. Phantom gasped and peered through his soaking wet hair at the teen.

"See!" the male student exclaimed, looking at Nick. "I told you it would work. Even if it doesn't get rid of ghosts, it's a perfect way to shut them up."

"That wasn't even Holy Water!" cried the ghost, shaking his wet arms.

"Are you saying all water isn't capable of being Holy? Mr. Phantom, I am _ashamed_ at your bigotry," the goth from earlier scolded, hands on her hips as she shook her head. "And you're supposed to be a role model for kids."

"Hardy har har," the ghost replied, turning intangible to dry off. "Seriously, you two are _hilarious._ Thanks for the help by the way. Really appreciate it."

The humans snickered.

Phantom turned around to Nick. A small object flying his way startled the teen, but he managed to catch it at the last minute. Nick examined the small lipstick blaster curiously before giving the ghost who had tossed it at him a surprised and curious look.

Phantom grinned. "I applaud your effort for standing up to a ghost, but next time, kid, bring a gun, not a stick of wood."

* * *

 **You have 1 unheard message.**

 _Sam, Tucker, why does the Danny Phantom webpage say I kink shame dogs?_

* * *

 **A/N:** I love Danny being a lil shit, he's just too good at it. A little weak, but I wanted to update because I haven't in a while (it's also a LONG chapter).


	9. Rule 14

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#14) I will not, under any circumstance, bother Vlad during important meetings to question his excessive use of eyeliner.

* * *

Every year Casper High invites someone well known to present a speech to the graduating class. This year, Lancer was extremely excited that they wouldn't have to cut into the sports budget in order to make the correct arrangements. After all, Amity Park already has someone wealthy and famous.

"For the remainder of this class period I expect you to be on your best behavior," Lancer ordered, firmly, addressing his senior english class. "That means no throwing footballs, no cutting people's hair, no impromptu lectures on whether aliens are real or not; and for God's sake Daniel, no bathroom breaks. Can you please just stay in your seat for more than twenty minutes?"

"Hey man, when I gotta go, I gotta go," the teen replied, shrugging.

Lancer sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I have an important meeting with the advisor and guest for your graduation ceremony in a few minutes so you are responsible for conducting yourself in an orderly manner until then."

"Oh sweet! Free period," Mikey exclaimed, already taking out his laptop. Nathan soon joined him in a heated conversation about the U.S. moon landing.

Once Lancer was certain no one had any questions- all of them were already moving seats and talking loudly- he left the classroom and headed for the principals office.

Principal Ishiyama was already entertaining their guest. "Are you sure there isn't anything I can get you, Mr. Masters?" she asked, reaching for the miniature fridge under her desk.

"Oh no, my dear, I am perfectly fine I assure you," their guest answered, smiling.

Lancer knew Masters was an intimidating man, but as he walked into the office it felt as though the air itself was acting warily. Even nature seemed to be cautious around the man who screamed power. Clearing his throat, Lancer approached them with a handshake. Masters stood up to meet him. "Good afternoon, Mayor Masters, on behalf of Casper High I thank you for agreeing to this."

"Oh, it is no problem at all, William Lancer, and I have heard so much about you."

The teacher visibly startled and looked at the confused expression on his colleagues face. It seemed she was puzzled as well. Surely the mayor would keep up to date about all faculties in Amity Park, but 'hearing so much' about a Vice Principal was odd. Lancer couldn't help but wonder who had told him.

Recovering, Lancer smiled. "Well I hope I live up to your expectations."

Principal Ishiyama soon took over and led the group of three around the school, showing Masters all the important rooms and halls while discussing the upcoming arrangement for graduation. The bell rang halfway through their tour and students flooded the hallways. Of course the teenagers would spend more time studying celebrities than doing their homework so within a couple seconds they were being watched and recorded.

Thankfully they were smart enough to not interrupt the adults, so as they waked down the halls to their next class the students just pointed and giggled.

Masters didn't seem to care- actually he kind of looked amused- so Lancer didn't let it bother him. Everything was going extremely smoothly and Lancer thought that hopefully by the end of the day they'd have their graduation speaker.

That was until a small body bumped into their guest.

Mayor Masters quickly reached down to steady the teenager that ran into him, but the boy had already recovered. The teen adjusted his backpack and looked up at their mayor with shocked eyes. "Oh! Sorry, are you lost? The funeral home is that way," he said, tilting his head in the opposite direction.

Lancer felt all the air leave his lungs. The hallway was silent and the teacher was sure that if he looked at his colleague's expression right now, her jaw would be on the floor. The worst part was that Lancer knew someone was recording this and it would be all over the internet in a matter of minutes.

Suddenly, Masters smirked, hands on his hips. "And normally dogs are kept on leashes, but you seem to be the exception."

"Watch out, I bite," the teen grinned, showing sharp canines.

"Don't worry, I've always been more of a cat person."

"I've heard that's an old lady thing, not an old _man_ thing," the boy frowned, putting a finger on his chin. "You know, that might explain why you wear so much eyeliner."

"Shouldn't you be in class already?"

"Shouldn't you be six feet under?"

Lancer suddenly found his voice when laughter erupted from every student watching. "D-Daniel Fenton!" he cried, pulling the teen away from his glaring match with their mayor. "This is- Daniel, you cannot talk to-!"

His student sent him a bright smile. "Don't worry, Lancer! Vlad and I are always like this."

"Actually, you're surprisingly tame right now," Masters snorted, placing a hand on the teen's shoulder. "Usually it's a lot more violence and death threats."

Daniel smirked. "Got to get that inheritance somehow."

Despite the confusion behind the mayor and Daniel's relationship, and the hilarity of the situation, Lancer was sure the story of how Amity Park's class of '16 got their graduation speaker would be told for many years to come.

* * *

 **A/N:** Updates are always fun! And I love Vlad and Danny having a playful type relationship: sorry to all the Vlad haters out there, but I figured by now that Danny would have helped him overcome his hatred and lonely past.


	10. Rule 6

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#6) I am forbidden from taking ghosts on "human tours."

* * *

Dash Baxter had been waiting all day for this. Gym class was truly where a teenager of his build thrived; and although he may have moved past his bullying antics, dodgeball was an aggression oriented sport catered to his every need.

Obviously not everyone agreed with his sentiment, for the smaller males of his class seemed to be dressing for their funerals in the P.E. locker room. Giving the scrawniest teens a once over, Dash began to pick targets.

This action, however, was stopped by a loud voice screaming through a megaphone and cutting off his concentration. **"Right this way, folks! 1, 2, 3- oh who cares, there's a lot of you. Watch your step, you may not want to know what you're standing in."**

The humans occupying the locker room froze as Danny Fenton, in all his geeky glory, herded a group of ghosts through their door. **"This right here is a mix of hormonal urges and animalistic pride,"** Danny explained dramatically, pointing at the still humans while the ectoplasmic entities hung onto his every word. **"Breath it in, folks. Can't you just smell the testosterone?"**

The ghosts with less than pleasing physical shapes sucked in a deep breath- _do ghosts even breathe?_ \- and cackled amongst themselves. Suddenly self-conscious, the half-naked teenagers closest to the group squeaked and hurriedly dressed themselves in embarrassment. This caught the attention of the ghosts. **"Don't worry, guys! You've got nothing they haven't seen before,"** Danny reassured, smiling at them as if he wasn't leading a bunch of human hating spectates on a field trip through their school.

"What the fuck, Fenton?" Conner, one of the more vocal jocks, growled, still shirtless. "Why the hell did you bring these monsters in here?"

Danny turned to the ghosts, visibly excited. **"Actually, this isn't something you've seen before. You see, some humans have this uncanny ability to take the size of their dicks and shove 2/3rds of it into their personality,"** he announced, making woooo-ing ghost noises at his guests while pointing at the jock. **"Thus creating the need to compensate by using the behavior we humans like to call 'being a douche.'"**

Not even the humans could hold back their surprised burst of laughter. Dash practically fell to the floor when all the ghosts suddenly leaned in super close to the rude jock's crotch with speculative expressions.

Thankfully Conner was the only one humiliated by the experience, but the students of Casper High knew this wouldn't be the last upset Danny Fenton had planned for the day.

* * *

He was just trying to impress her, honestly.

At least, that's what Spencer told himself when he cornered the girl of his dreams in the school hallway during break. He made sure to plan it perfectly too, at a time when none of her friends were around and the hall was occupied with few people.

Spencer bought a rose from a little shop in Amity Square and made sure to sweeten the deal by memorizing compliments he found on the internet. He rehearsed his lines and knew that there was absolutely no way she could say no, but if she did he also had a plan for that too.

Everything was going perfectly according to plan.

Then Danny Fenton decided to fuck it up.

"Hey, Princess," Spencer flirted, casually pressing an arm to the locker door above the short girl. "Need a prince to rescue you from your tower?"

Emily was obviously charmed. Her nose did that little scrunched up thing it always did whenever he was around. "Spencer... how nice to see you."

He smiled, making sure she could see how white and straight his teeth were. "Oh? Did you miss me?" he leaned in close to place the rose just below her lips. "I know thoughts of me can be distracting, but you really should focus on paying attention in class."

Her shoulders shook in the universal sign of laughter so he pressed on even though she stepped slightly away from him. She was a shy girl, really. Maybe he should just ask so she wouldn't be too embarrassed and flustered by his presence.

"So," he started, leaning down so he was eye level with her. "I was thinking it's about time I start treating you like a princess. What do you say to-?" He paused and tilted his head to the side. He swore he just heard whispers.

Distraction ignored, Spencer knew how to recover. "Well, what I mean is-"

He heard the hushed voices again and stopped. Emily was looking at something over his shoulder so he turned around, but saw nothing.

Refusing to lose his cool now- _he almost had the girl!_ \- he turned back to the love of his life and smiled, opening his mouth to ask her on a date, but was interrupted again by giggles.

 **"Observe: the male specimen in it's natural habitat,"** the voice mock whispered, coming from an unknown location. **"See how he leans in to assert dominance over the 'unsuspecting female?'"**

Spencer jerked away from Emily who looked just as confused as he did.

 **"Little does he know, said 'unsuspecting female' is quite literally one bad pickup line away from kicking him in the balls."**

The love of his life suddenly snorted and bent forward, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Was she laughing at this horrid terrorist to his plans? "How dare you!?" he shouted, voice drawing more attention to them. "Show yourself!"

 **"See how the male resorts to aggression once issued a challenge-"**

"-I'll fight you, ya damn bitch!"

 **"-and attempts to strengthen his masculinity by lowering the construct of another's. It's quite fascinating, is it not?"**

By now a crowd had gathered and Spencer was finally able to locate the source of the voice. An amused head of a teenager peaked out from one of the ceiling tiles above them, several grinning green faces surrounding him. "DANNY FENTON, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

 **"We've been spotted! We must flee before he attempts more pick-up lines!"**

"I wouldn't use them on you, you bastard!" Spencer shouted, flustered by the laughter from his classmates. Danny and the ghosts quickly placed the ceiling tile back and scurried away. No one bothered to wonder how he got up there. With regards to any Fenton, it was best not to ask.

Though the rest of Casper High's population greatly enjoyed the experience, Spencer never did end up asking the unwilling participant in the situation on a date.

* * *

Several incidents continued throughout the day and word spread fast at Casper High about Danny Fenton giving "Human Tours."

The seniors shared with the other students that during lunch Danny made a huge spectacle about the horrid taste of the cafeteria food. One ghost from his group even tasted it and fell over choking. Danny apparently claimed that the mashed potatoes murdered his friend Kyle, and had to be reminded that said ghost was already dead beforehand.

Another story claimed that Danny had tried to explain the waste removal system of the human body to the ghosts, but when attempting to watch the process got the group kicked out of the bathrooms (both girls and boys), they interrupted 11th grade anatomy class to ask for an instruction from the professor. Mr. Scratchner didn't even care that the students he was lecturing were ghosts. He just seemed happy someone was listening to him teach for once.

The final incident took place when Danny walked into his sixth period class with Lancer for history.

"Daniel," Edward Lancer breathed calmly, closing his eyes. "Do I want to know?"

 **"And this right here folks is what an underpaid and underappreciated teacher looks like,"** Danny explained, seemingly ignoring Lancer's rhetorical question; still using his megaphone. **"Isn't it an injustice?"** The ghosts made soft upset sounds and shook their heads sadly.

Lancer paused in the middle of deciding whether to kick them out or not. Danny was still grinning at him expectantly.

"...They can stay."

And that's how Casper High experienced its first ever 'peaceful' interaction with ghosts. Unfortunatly, human tours were banned the next period when Kyle tried to eat Mrs. Teslaf.

(Tried is an irresponsible word to use since he succeded until Danny shoved more cafeteria food down his throat and made him throw the masculine teacher up. It's said that Casper High was now looking into alternative meal choices for lunch. Apprently once you've seen your gym teacher covered in regurgitated meatloaf, it's hard to enjoy again).

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry it's kind of sloppy. I've been working on a new story with an Angel Danny who gets kicked out of heaven, and I have another chapter of this fanfic in the making as well. I've never been good at multitasking.

Cool thing: Before I updated this story, all 5 of my fanfics had been updated every month in chronological order: August, September, October, November, December. I broke the chain and now two have been updated in December TTnTT


	11. Rule 2

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#2) An Ectopus is not an appropriate date for the school dance.

* * *

The teachers were called over the weekend to help set up what the administrative staff was calling "Casper High's Forever Frightful" final dance. They shouldn't really be calling this last minute organization a school dance, but Principal Ishimaya was insistent upon making the Seniors' supposed "Grad Bash" a huge hit this year.

As Lancer hung a neon ghost plushie from the ceiling of the school gymnasium, he began to have serious doubts.

"This is... different," he commented to his coworker who was having difficulties making a scary enough face on one of the balloons. Lancer paused to help her, but honestly his drawing skills weren't much better.

Ms. Clark sighed heavily. "We see enough ghosts outside of our jobs, and now we're making them our theme?" she complained.

Lancer couldn't help but chuckle. He definitely understood her point. After all, his class always seemed to be involved in every ghost attacks. "At least we managed to convince the Dean to forgo the life sized Danny Phantom cutout."

"Only because we were worried some of the kids would try and have sex with it," Clark reminded, dryly.

Lancer choked down a laugh as he recalled the psychology teacher strutting into the faculty meeting Friday with charts to argue why getting a large cutout of Phantom was a bad idea. The explanation had certainly been thorough. He'd never seen the anatomy professor so horrified before.

"I just hope the kids appreciate all our hard work," the teacher behind them said. Lancer noticed that his hands were stained green from the punch he was trying to dye. "I look like a ghost threw up on me!"

Ms. Teslaf happened to walk by at that moment. "I wonder what that's like," she growled, having a first hand experience with the insides of a ghost.

Charlie chuckled nervously and decided he'd better focus on making his punch. Clark and Lancer followed his example and soon there were badly drawn ghosts hanging from every corner of the school gym. Their colleagues weren't that far behind them and by six o'clock that evening they were ready for the senior class to arrive.

Principal Ishimaya scattered them throughout the area to watch for excessive PDA and/or unnecessary behavior, but Lancer wasn't too worried about this graduating class. They were all good kids.

Unfortunately for Lancer, he forgot about Danny Fenton's uncanny ability to take any situation and make it about ten times worse.

* * *

The dance was going well and each of the teachers were thrilled that their students actually found the decorations funny and cute. They had each grabbed a ghost balloon the minute they walked in and carried them around for the rest of the night, acting out either making friends with it or fighting like Phantom. The dyed food and drink was also a hit and Lancer could see the Home Ec teacher looking pleased over in the corner by the refreshment table.

Everything was perfectly under control until Danny Fenton entered at a time in which the teenagers consider "fashionably late." The doors swung open quietly, but the glow from the entrance caught everyone's attention. Holding Danny's arm and grinning proudly far above the heads of every human was an Ectopus.

The saddest thing was Lancer's first thought happened to be, "at least it's wearing a tie."

Startled, the teachers could only stare at the spectacle before them. Hardly fazed, the kids responded first.

"A bit late, Fenton?" Dash questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Danny mock gasped and placed a hand over the front of his suit. "Don't you know, Dash? The Belle of the Ball always arrives last!"

Paulina hid her smile behind her gloved hand. "And you decided a ghost was an appropriate fit for the role?" she asked.

"Excuse me," Danny said, looking extremely offended. _"I'm_ the Belle, thank you. They're just my date, but aren't they lovely? I even got them a tie!" The Ectopus beamed under the praise and showed off their gift.

"Where's your dress then?" Mikey asked, already laughing.

Danny crossed his arms, still holding onto his date, and scowled. "Sam wouldn't let me borrow hers."

"You'd look horrible in my colors, sweetie," Sam called from the other side of the room. "Plum Purple is not your friend."

"Well you're missing out because my date happens to think I look lovely in Plum, don't you?" The Ectopus made a strange gurgling noise. "HA. In your face, Sam." His friend was too busy laughing to reply.

The teachers became nervous once they noticed Principal Ishiyama had had enough. Her approach towards where Danny remained standing with his date reflected that of a lion stalking a zebra. This Zebra, however, seemed unable to recognize it needed to _run_. "Daniel Fenton, this is the absolute last straw," she hissed, pointing at the ghost. "You will not ruin this night by bringing this _thing_ into my school!"

Danny gasped, tugging the Ectopus down until he could cover it's ears. "How could you say such things? They have a name, you know. It's Bartholomew!"

The Principal was not amused. "You will either send the ghost back to it's home or I will personally ensure the Fenton's arrive to take care of it."

Danny blinked. "Did you just threaten to call my parents?"

Ishiyama had to pause as she realized she technically _had_ done just that. She decided to roll with it. "Don't make me repeat myself."

"Fiiiiine," the teenager sighed, loud and over dramatically. "It looks like Bartholomew and I aren't welcome here. That's cool! We'll just have our own party in the Ghost Zone without you! No humans allowed."

Rolling her eyes, and not knowing how serious Danny really was, Ishiyama pointed at the door.

Long after Danny and his interesting choice of a date left the dance, the teachers continued to have difficulties maintaining order as it seemed every teenager had decided to name their ghost ballon Bartholomew, and continued to strut around making claims about how they were so much better than the date they had brought.

Unbeknownst to the humans of Amity Park, the Ghost Zone hosted a party the same night of their senior celebration, courtesy of a certain Halfa. And if a hungover Danny Phantom attempting to fight a light post the next morning was any clue, it had been a pretty successful one if nothing else.

* * *

 **A/N:** SWMC is killing me so I needed a break from trying to write a decent ending. I think I've updated my stories 4 or 5 times in the past month. It's a new record!


	12. Rule 8

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#8) I am forbidden from teaching my classmates "ghost speak."

* * *

"No, seriously guys, I could have you speaking like ten sentences in an hour tops," Danny assured, making dismissive hand gestures. "The teachers would have _no_ idea what's going on."

"As much as I would love to see Denzberger's face when his students start speaking ghost, one of these days the teachers are just going to blow," Dash commented, leaning his cheek against his hand and giving the other teenager a look of challenge.

From his seat on Lancer's desk, Danny grinned. "That's the point."

The minute class started Lancer had been called to the Dean's office. He wanted to ask a sub to fill in, but this was his senior class and he hoped he could trust them enough to behave while he was out. He sent a stern look to Danny Fenton- who only smiled innocently- before leaving, and the senior class was left to their own devices.

The minute he left, Danny decided to make himself comfortable on the teacher's desk. He was currently attempting to convince the class to let him teach them "ghost speak."

"This is a really bad idea," Star sighed, more amused than annoyed.

"It's really not. Come on, guys! I've come up with tons of ideas in my life and only one of them got me killed!" Danny exclaimed.

The class sighed at Danny's usual weirdness, but inwardly they were interested. "Do you think the Ghost Boy knows 'ghost speak?'" Paulina wondered out loud.

Danny sent her a look. "I can promise you he does. All ghosts know it."

"Then how'd you learn? Was it difficult?" Kwan asked.

"Oh, it wasn't too hard. I mean, all I really had to do was disregard any and all safety precautions set by my parents, follow my inflated ego into an unknown contraption into another world, and you know, turn it on while inside in order to fry my brain with the power of a thousand suns," he explained, shrugging. "Normal stuff."

"Right," Dash groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I swear, Fenton, if you get me detention for this."

Danny laughed. "You really think the teachers are going to think anyone else besides me orchestrated this?"

"Considering all the stuff you've done these past weeks, no, I don't."

"Then let's freak out some old folks."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

"Hey, Lance?" one of the teachers questioned during their lunch break. Pointing out the window, he asked, "what do you think the kids are doing over there?"

Lancer absentmindedly turned to look where he just _knew_ Danny Fenton was. A group of the senior class was huddled around one lunch table covered in papers. Danny and his two friends Sam and Tucker were in the center of the pile and waving notes around while Danny drew strange symbols on the ground.

The other teacher frowned. "If they're summoning a demon, I'm not cleaning it up."

"It's Lancer's turn anyways," another teacher commented as she filled up her coffee, only glancing once out the window.

"Excuse me?" Lancer exclaimed, clearly remembering it was the anatomy professor's turn for cleanup crew.

He was met with several very unimpressed stares. "They're _your_ kids," one voiced, sternly.

Lancer thought about reminding several of them that they also had these students in their classes, but was advised against it.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

The lunch bell rang and soon the senior class had dispersed to their separate corners of the school. Several of them had psychology next.

"Good morning everyone, please take your seats immediately," the psychology professor announced when she walked through the door after lunch, dropping her bag and taking a seat.

"ကောင်းသောနံနက်ပါမောက္ခ," replied the students in unison.

Ms. Clark burrowed her head into her hands and with all the power of a person who had given up said softly, "Oh God."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Teslaf attempted to yell at them until they submitted, but when her students refused to speak English even when she threatened to make them run laps, she had had enough.

"Well fine then," she growled, pointing upwards. "If ya'll want to speak like a ghost, then you better start acting like one. Flying lessons. NOW."

Whether as an excuse to get the back for their lack of cooperation or simply as a release of inner aggressions, Teslaf proceeded to teach her kids how to throw themselves off a two-story mound.

The Janitor just so happened to walk in halfway through her yelling, "You're already dead! What do you have to fear about a couple broken legs and fractured spinal chords! JUMP like your lives depend on it because I just might kill ya if you don't!"

He looked at Teslaf screaming and kids attempting to fall to their deaths and shrugged. Nothing out of the ordinary.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Lancer took one look at Danny's face and walked right back out the door.

To hell with cleaning duty. Their next period teacher could deal with this.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

The Spanish teacher was having none of their shit.

"Dash, could you please read the question on the board?" she asked.

"ငါကမိန့်အဘယ်သူမျှမစိတ်ကူးရှိသည်."

"Well Dash, I'm sure if you go see a doctor for that, you'll be fine, but I really don't think the progress of your posterior rash needs to be shared with the class," she replied with a straight face.

Mikey laughed so hard he spoke in broken ghost speak. "စဉ်တွင်ဟက်တာ - ကိုယ့် ပါသူမ!"

The professor gasped loudly. "Mikey! What you do on your own time is none of my business, and I know you absolutely love math, but that is certainty not the conventional use of a Calculus textbook!"

The class quickly went downhill from there.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

By seventh period there was a notice posted on the school bulletin board that stated "All students must communicate in English while within the walls of Casper High."

Almost as if Danny had planned it, Principal Ishiyama was overrun with phonecalls from families of Latin American origins asking why their son/daughter could not talk in their native tongue amongst their peers. The backlash was so great that even the head of educational facilities in all if Illinois heard about the Principal's "racist announcement," and decided it would be best if Ishiyama spent a couple days in an intense training class on diversity.

Danny Fenton's shit eating grin as the Principal was escorted off campus hardly matched her glare of retribution. The teachers meanwhile decided that maybe things would calm down now that Danny's main enemy against his pranks had left.

They would come to realize in the following days that they were so wrong.

* * *

 **A/N:** Not as strong as other chapters, but still a fun concept to write- and I updated back to back! Maybe I'll do another too. Now the Principal is out of the way so what kind of things will Danny and the gang get away with during her absence?

Danny's been dropping so many clues, but Casper High's students just think it's his usual Fenton weirdness. Poor Danny.


	13. Rule 9

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#9) I will not suddenly show up in the teachers' lounge in my underwear.

* * *

The day had started off pretty tame, but the people of Casper High knew that Danny Fenton was just buying his time until disaster struck.

The disaster being him.

Currently they were on break and hanging around the halls of the school. The teachers were enjoying the quiet before the chaos in their lounge while the students were on their phones or talking amongst themselves.

One student in particular happened to be practicing the art of Tarot Card reading. It was a difficult task, but he was up for the challenge. The problem was he needed someone to volunteer to try it on, and Danny Fenton happened to walk down the hall just as he was scanning it for a test subject.

"So tomorrow or…?" Danny was asking his gothic friend.

The female grinned. "Not sure yet, but be ready-"

"-Danny!" the underclassmen yelled, gaining not only his attention but some of the other students as well. The senior stopped and smiled at the underclassmen beckoning him.

"What's up?" Danny asked, walking over to the kid.

The sophomore eagerly took out his supplies. "I've been getting really good at Tarot Card reading and I need someone to practice on!"

"Sure, I don't mind. What do you need me to do?"

A crowd soon gathered as Nathanial and Danny sat down in the middle of the hall. Several people were eager to see if this was what Danny had planned for the day. Even Sam and Tucker were sitting around to watch.

Nathanial finished the process of selecting the cards and flipping them over to reveal a realization about oneself for the upperclassmen. He looked across the results and paused.

Noticing his hesitation, Danny asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah," Nathaniel said slowly, flipping the cards over to try again. "Sorry, I must be doing something wrong. My grandma's techniques kick ass, but I'm new at this."

Danny sat patiently as more cards were chosen and revealed. Nathaniel once again flipped them over and made a frustrated sound at the results. His eyes went from the cards to Danny to back again in disbelief. "Why is every card death? What the fuck I don't even have this many death cards."

Sam and Tucker suddenly burst out laughing.

Danny was looking at the cards curiously. He reached out to take one from Nathanial's hand and the underclassman was too late to try and stop him. "No!" he warned as Danny flipped the card in his hand over. "Don't you know it's bad luck to touch an omen of death?!"

"Oh come on," the senior laughed, smilingly encouragingly. "It's not like I can die twice."

"Danny, _that is_ _not reassuring._ "

The students watching the exchange began to snort behind their hands. Even if this wasn't the Trio's plan for the day, they were definitely enjoying the drama. Nathaniel reached out to snatch the card back, but Danny whined about wanting to hold it longer.

"No! Can't you see it's already taken ahold of you?" Nathaniel pleaded, tugging at the Tarot Card. Danny pulled backwards with just as much force until suddenly there was a flash of light and all that was left of the teenager was a pile of clothes.

Everyone looked down at the senior's discarded shirt, shoes, and pants in shock. Nathaniel slowly raised the Tarot Card clutched within his fist and trembled. "Oh my God," he whispered in horror. "I killed Danny Fenton."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Several years of teaching Daniel James Fenton gave Lancer a sixth sense for whenever he was involved in something. As he and his colleagues discussed their upcoming lesson plans and how Lancer's current role as a fill in for Principal Ishiyama would play into them, he thought about sharing the weird shiver that went down his spine.

"It's just paranoia, Edward," Lancer whispered to himself, raising a coffee mug to his lips to hide his frown. "There's no way Daniel would try something surrounded by so many teachers."

Two seconds later, Lancer, along with several other teachers, forcefully ejected their coffee from their mouths when Danny Fenton suddenly appeared in the teacher's lounge wearing nothing but a pair of neon green ghost boxers. There were multiple cases of nonsense sputtering and cries of shock before the teachers could recover themselves.

Danny blinked at them with wide eyes from his position on top of their papers. "Okay, I know I've been doing some pretty crazy things lately, but I honestly have no idea how I got here."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

"Wow," Tucker said on their way home from school after what Danny had dubbed 'The Incident.' "Who knew Tarot Cards could interfere with your teleportation abilities?"

"At least we all got some entertainment out of it," Sam chuckled.

Danny scowled at his friends. "You weren't the one who landed half naked in front of our teachers."

Sam shrugged. "No, but you were the one who said you wanted to mess with them in the first place."

"Not by becoming an exhibitionist!"

Tucker snorted. When the two of them turned to ask him what was so funny, he raised an eyebrow in the direction of Danny's pants. "Look on the bright side. If you hadn't worn your Dad's specially made anti-ecto Fenton Family boxers, you would have shown up in the teacher's lounge completely _naked_."

Danny's horrified expression certainly hinted at a reexamining of his life's choices.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

 **A/N:** I was on a plane for 3 hours so I had a lot of time to write. I'm going to sleep now. Hi from New York!


	14. Rule 23

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#23) I may not have a private army.

* * *

"Think of the possibilities," Danny exclaimed. "We could be seeing history in the making!"

"We could be seeing an arrest in the making," Sam commented, dryly.

Danny frowned at her and crossed his arms, honestly offended by her lack of support. "I think you're underestimating my skills."

"I think you're overestimating everyone else's."

Tucker sat down at the lunch table cautiously. It was never a good idea to break Sam and Danny up when they were arguing about something. "Is it safe to approach?" he asked, setting his lunch next to theirs.

Danny gasped and looked at Tucker with huge sparkles in his eyes while Sam groaned. Startled, the techno geek leaned backwards. "Tucker! I have a question for you," Danny said, smiling innocently.

"Here we go," Sam groaned. She proceeded to face her back towards the table and munch on her salad.

"Listen," Danny continued, "If I were to hypothetically attempt to take over a plot of land that's already occupied, would you or would you not- hypothetically- help me do so?"

Tucker shared an exasperated look with Sam who had turned around long enough to make eye contact with him. "Private army?" he asked her.

Sam nodded. "Private army."

"Guys, seriously! It could work!" Danny whined, pressing his forehead against the lunch table.

"Danny, first of all only the federal government can draft people," she explained, ignoring Danny's grumbling that all participants of his army would be willing. "Second, nobody is going to want to help you take over land; third, property rights by conquest aren't legal anymore unless the U.S. suddenly decides it wants to take over another country and then- BOOM! Suddenly it's legal and not called being an asshole."

The lunch room chatter hid the sound of Danny's seat hitting the floor as he abruptly stood up. A couple students near them looked over and once they noticed he was the one making a scene, they continued to watch. "Well fine then," Danny announced, huffing. "If my two best friends won't be in my private army then I'll find someone better."

Sam and Tucker watched him march straight over to the A-Lister table with less than amused expressions on their faces.

Tucker raised an eyebrow at Sam. "Valerie?"

Sam shrugged. "Well, I mean, she can kick his ass."

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Valerie was having a very nice and very normal day. She'd had a big breakfast this morning with her loving father, gotten to school on time, managed to pass her two tests, and was currently enjoying a peaceful lunch with her friends.

Then she saw a grinning boy out of the corner of her eye and groaned very loudly and full of several emotions not even she could identify. Her friends stopped talking to send her a weird look.

"Uh, Val?" Dash asked, watching as she attempted to press her face into her potato salad. "You okay?"

"I _was_ ," she grumbled, leaning up to face the approaching teenager. Danny saw her looking and waved excitedly. "Oh, I just know this is going to be interesting," she added.

Danny pulls off the innocently curious extremely well, but Valerie has dealt with Dani using it on her so she was practically immune. Beside her she could feel the amusement from the other A-Listers, probably because they'd get to witness whatever ploy Danny had planned for today, but didn't actually have to take part in it.

Fools. Don't they realize that when Danny is involved, they're bound to get dragged in somehow?

Said teenage boy raced up to Valerie's side and leaned against the lunch table casually. "Hey, Val, would you like an offer you can't refuse?"

"Only if you want a rude suggestion about what you can do with it," she replied, unfazed.

Danny gasped. "Be still my beating heart." He froze before turning to the direction of his friends. "Wait, does my heart still beat?"

"You're alive, aren't you?" Dash questions, one eyebrow raised.

"Debatable."

Knowing she was the only one at the table that truly understood his morbid humor due to his situation, Valerie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Danny, what exactly are you trying to do this time?"

The boy grinned at her. "I may or may not need a private army."

A little disturbed, Dash butted in with, "For what exactly?"

Danny waved a hand. "Oh, you know, just a couple future plans of mine that may need some extra hands. Nothing big like taking over the Ghost Zone or anything, I've already got that covered."

Danny paused as his face twisted. "Oh, wait, but do I actually, though? I mean the rules for Ghost Kings and defeating them are really confusing. I might need to ask my ghost guardian about that one," he mumbled to himself, probably not caring one bit that everyone else at the table could hear him.

"Right…" Valerie said, playing along. "So why me?"

Danny blinked at her. "You can literally kick my ass with nothing more than your bare hands and a shoelace."

Reminded of that one-time Danny in his Phantom form had refused to give her back the sandwich he playfully stole from her, Valerie nodded. "Makes sense."

"Can we help?" Paulina asked, leaning forward and completely disregarding her lunch. Danny finally seemed to notice that there were other innocent victims for him to pry on.

"Of course!" he exclaimed, eagerly reaching into his back pocket. "I just need you guys to sign these confidentiality forms and-"

Valerie was having a nice day, but when one's old-crush-now-best-friend-but-used-to-be-enemy goes to the same school as you, it's hard to have a normal day without getting dragged into something as strange as a binding contract for Danny Fenton's private army.

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Lancer sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why is it that when something happens it's always you three?"

Danny, Sam, and Tucker sat staring at him from their positions on the floor. He'd insisted on them using the office chairs, but Sam made a convincing argument that had something to do with 'conventional uses mean nothing before the heat death of the universe?' so Lancer just gave up.

"But we didn't even do anything wrong this time!" Danny exclaimed.

"Yeah, emphasis on the 'we,'" Sam said. "Tucker and I actually told him this was a bad idea for once."

Lancer groaned, collapsing into his chair. "Daniel, I have gotten multiple complaints from several teachers about their students asking for, and I quote, 'military veteran benefits after Danny Fenton's war on the patriarchy.'"

"…and?" Danny asked.

Using the amazing amount of control he cultivated while teaching these three for several years, Lancer breathed deeply and decided to just ignore all the explanations of why and just go with what (because honestly the teenager wouldn't understand that normal people have limits to what they can do). "Daniel, you may not have a private army."

There was silence in the office. Then Danny frowned and crossed him arms. "I bet Pariah Dark would have let me have a private army if he'd taken over Amity Park," he muttered, pouting.

"Daniel, if you really want to go through with this just understand that the Mayor would not only have to approve such a ridiculous request-"

"NO!" Sam and Tucker shouted, standing up. It was only then that Lancer noticed Danny had already left.

"Oh God, why did you have to say that?" Tucker groaned.

"He actually _knows_ the Mayor, Mr. Lancer," Sam explained, collapsing to the floor again and throwing her arms out wide.

"I mean, I highly doubt Vlad would actually let him," Tucker said, looking at Lancer, "but if he comes to school with the seal of approval for having a private army, just know this was on you."

Lancer had not drunk enough coffee this morning to deal with this conversation.

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Danny Phantom flew into the Mayor's office carrying several sheets of paper. "Hey Vlad-?"

"No," the man said, not looking up from his paperwork.

"You didn't even hear what I had to say yet!"

Vlad brushed his hair back and raised an eyebrow at the ghost teen hovering before him.

"I am offended by that look of distrust," Danny complained, scowling. "When have I ever done anything irresponsible?"

"I keep a list. It's alphabetized," Vlad deadpanned, turning back to his work.

"Okay, but imagine if you had an entire army at your disposal-"

"-Daniel, seriously-?"

"-but said army was hundreds of teenagers with raging hormones and ideas of independence."

Vlad looked up, eyes showing interest. "And what exactly do you think you could do with them? Teleport to Washington D.C. and have them take on the concept of the patriarchy?"

"Or just make a huge shitstorm of trouble for the U.S. government and freak a lot of people out because teenagers suddenly appeared out of nowhere," Danny replied, grinning. "And, you know, maybe a few ghosts once my idea reaches the Ghost Zone."

Thinking about the huge cut in federal funding Amity Park had just been given due to it's 'excessive lies about damages from ghost battles and other nonsense,' Vlad smirked.

Two days later and news stations across the United States were still trying to figure out how thousands of people appeared and disappeared in the middle of the next president's inauguration just long enough to scream and release green illusions in the sky.

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

 **A/N:** So I was referenced to a TUMBLR a while ago called totallyincorrentDannyPhantomQuotes (which is where I got the tarot card chapter from) and decided I should start submitting some of my stuff to them. If you see some of my work on there, don't worry it's just me! No one has taken credit for it or anything.


	15. Rule 31 and 26

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#31) I will not stop my heart to invalidate a test.

#26) Classmates are not shields and I will not treat them as such.

* * *

Amity Park's citizens were well acquainted with the dead; so much so that the city constantly ran drills on what to do in the event of an ecto emergency. Since it was one of the city's most popular centers for ghost attacks for some odd, unexplained reason, Casper High was required by the Mayor and the Council to run independent, monthly ghost drills.

The day of the G-Drills consists of a written test in the morning followed by a mock attack in the gymnasium in the evening.

Preparing for war, the teachers knew Danny Fenton and his friends weren't going to take the tests seriously- they obviously knew way more about ghosts than everyone else- but nothing could prepare them for the chaos the trio created this year.

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Mr. Denzbereger was about to begin the written test for his class when Danny Fenton's hand shot in the air. Praying to all the Gods in the sky, he allowed the teenager to speak.

"Is it true that if one of us dies we don't have to take the exam?" Danny asked, innocently tilting his head.

"Oh! I heard that if there's a real ghost attack we have to stop and fight it," Tucker exclaimed, looking excited.

Sam snorted. "I can't believe you two believe that kiddy stuff," she commented, waving a hand. "We obviously use the ghost of whoever dies in the drills later today."

The three of them "ooh-ed and ahh-ed" while the rest of the class failed to hold back their laughter.

Denzbereger could feel his face reddening in anger. "I will not answer such ridiculous-"

"-If the test is really hard, Tucker fake a heart attack," Danny mock whispered to his friend.

"What are you thinking? Classic angina or something sexier like myocardial-infarction?" Tucker asked.

"Just drop on the ground and wiggle."

Regretting his entire life- but mostly his birth- It took a very long time for Denzberger to get the class under control. "Daniel James Fenton!" he finally cried.

"Oooo! Full name," Tucker whispered.

"There will be no more talk of death and no more interruptions in this class!" the teacher finished, planting his foot down. "Do you understand?"

Danny tapped a finger against his chin. "But what if I just stop my heart long enough for you to declare the tests invalid for everyone?"

 _"Excuse me?"_

"Wait, hold on, I got this everyone!" Danny reassured, grinning. Two seconds later he collapsed on the ground in a heap of flesh and bone.

His arms and legs were placed so comically, as if he had actually stopped his heart and fainted, that the class couldn't help but break out in laughter again.

Denzbereger was not amused. He marched straight to Danny's collapsed body and leaned over the teenager. "Daniel, I do not find this funny. You will get up this instant!"

The class's laughter trickled off when Danny didn't so much as twitch. They thought his jokes were funny, but if a teacher says enough is enough then that's usually a cue that it's time to stop.

"Daniel," Denzberger said through gritted teeth. "NOW."

The teenager remained spread out on the floor.

"I am not at all happy with your behavior and in three seconds I will- SWEET TEACUPS AND TESTICLES!" he suddenly cried when he reached for Danny's arm. Realizing that his student was ice cold, and not being able to find a pulse, the teacher exclaimed. "HIS HEART REALLY DID STOP!"

The class was on their feet in seconds, suddenly noticing the lack of breath from their classmate.

"Oh my G-"

"Seriously?"

"No way! Just pour water-"

"-are you sure you checked-?"

"Someone call the-"

Amid the chaos and confusion, the humans failed to notice Danny's head suddenly shoot up to look his startled teacher in the eyes. "So do we still have to take the test or should I go back to being dead a little while longer?" he asked, completely serious.

Denzbereger struggled to find words until he finally choked out, "ZOMBIE!"

Danny shrugged. "Actually ghost, but I mean, you were closer than everybody else."

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

After the chaos that was one Senior classes' test, break was spent discussing the topics of the exam in the halls. Freshmen and Sophomores mostly murmured about how nervous they were for their scores while the Juniors and Seniors laughed about how ridiculous the questions were.

"One of them asked whether an ectoblast felt more like getting slammed by a fridge or cooked in a microwave," Dash laughed, leaning against his locker as his friends surrounded him.

Kwan snorted, "I know, right? The obvious answer is microwave. Everybody knows that." The other A-Listers nodded seriously, all having been hit with an ectoblast sometime in the past four years.

Dash suddenly noticed Danny walking by and grabbed him by the shirt. "Hey, why are you pouting?" he questioned, moving Danny so he was within their circle.

Danny grumbled, entirely unaffected by his change in position, "I actually tried with this test and I _still_ did bad!"

The group was unconvinced. "How in the world did you of all people fail a ghost safety course?" Kwan asked, baffled.

"They asked 'In the event of a ghost raid, what steps do you take?"

"And…?'

"Well apparently 'fucking large ones' wasn't the right answer."

Not knowing if Danny was serious or not, the A-Listers were thankful when the bell rang for their next class. Despite all the years they spent with him, sometimes they honestly couldn't read the youngest Fenton child.

As the group walked away, Danny remained leaning against the lockers until Sam and Tucker joined him.

"The sad thing is you were totally serious," Sam commented, watching the A-Listers as they went in opposite directions.

Danny raised his arms to the sky. "Well it makes sense!"

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

The final test for the students of Casper High took place during their normal seventh period block. As the teachers went though the rules of engagement for defending themselves against the ectopus, the trio was hardly paying attention.

"That's definitely a low class ectopus," Sam observed, watching the ghost wiggle around in the container. The large metal cylinder had a small glass opening for the apprehensive teenagers to watch the ghost through.

"You think?" Danny asked, looking generally curious.

Sam shook her head and grumbled, "One of us has to."

"Well do you think they're going to make us fight it one on one?" Tucker questioned loudly.

"Maybe if you payed attention then you'd find out," Ms. Teslaf barked, sending them a glare. "Did you even hear a word we said?"

"To be fair, I listened to like four words," Danny commented. "That's a new record for me."

Teslaf ran a hand down her face. "Just for that, Fenton, you're up first."

The students standing in a line turned to watch as Danny shrugged and approached the ghost like it was nothing. When he was eight feet from the container, Teslaf released the glass holding the ectopus, and everyone gasped when the ghost rushed out in a frenzy.

Hoping to see some Fenton fighting action so they'd know what to do when it was their turn, the students were both startled and confused when the ghost froze when it was two feet from Danny. The being's eyes were wide as it looked the teenager up and down as if sizing it up to eat.

After a couple seconds of silence, Danny raised his hand in greeting. "Sup."

The ectopus let out a noise that resembled a dying whale before it rushed back to its cage and shut the glass door itself.

Danny turned to look at the shocked teachers observing the test. "So do I pass?"

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

The other students were ushered through quickly enough. Sam and Tucker's tests were just as interesting as Danny's except Sam decided to take the time to train the ghost rather than attack it- _down boy, oh you're such a good ghosty, aren't you?-_ while Tucker pressed one button on his PDA and the ghost immediately gave up chasing him.

A couple people noticed that Danny yelled "Ouch!" at the same time Tucker pressed his button.

Dash's fight was the most enjoyable for everyone because the trio decided to do commentary for it.

"Dash, remember your training!" Sam cried.

"BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY TRAINING!"

"Go for a left hook!" Tucker shouted, mimicking the movement. "Or shove it in a locker, you're good at that!"

Dash sent them a glare as he raced past, dodging the being's tentacles. "You know this can be a group activity! You could join in at any time!"

"Sure!" Sam said. "You can be the shield and-"

"NO."

"Want me to join?" Danny asked, waving at Dash as a tentacle finally caught the blonde teenager.

"I swear to God, Fenton, you stay right where you are," Teslaf ordered from the sidelines. "It took us twenty minutes to coax that thing into coming out again after your attempt. It seems all ghosts know you're a Fenton and to stay away."

Danny smiled. "Sure, let's go with that."

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

 **A/N:** I decided to combine two of the rules (#26 was a replaced option and #31 was added to the list because 2 reviewers suggested it so thank you!) into one chapter as a gift. I need to start buckling down on my other stories now; I've updated this one waaaaay too much.

Also, I'm sorry to the reviewer who wanted me to start updating early instead of late at night on East Coast time. It's a Saturday though :D


	16. Rule 32

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#32) Accident or not, I am forbidden from using my intangibility/invisibility to mess with others.

* * *

"I knew those ghosts were up to no good, Maddie!" Jack Fenton bellowed at his usual volume. He cocked the weapon in his arms with a scowl and shifty eyes. "I'll get them no matter where they're hiding!

Maddie Fenton smiled sweetly. "Jack, darling, there will be plenty of time to catch those responsible for this _after_ we finish reinstalling the schools alarm system," she reassured, rubbing his arm that held the gun. Her husband voiced his agreement loudly.

Lancer was extremely concerned with how close he was standing in the blast zone. The blast zone being anywhere 60 feet from Jack Fenton. "I… appreciate you coming, Mr. and Mrs. Fenton," he said, taking a few steps backwards from the destructive couple. "Is there anything you might need help with?"

Ignoring the chatter of the students in the background- who were obviously listening in- Maddie turned to the giant 10 foot hole in the wall of the lunchroom. "Well I suppose you could start by explaining how exactly this happened."

"Sorry mom, it's kind of hard to change directions when you're being hurdled 60 mph through the air," Danny Fenton said from his seat at his lunch table. The fact that he was so casual about it had the rest of Casper High rolling their eyes almost fondly.

They were outside so it wasn't as if the adults could hear them, but it looked like the trio was including the Fentons in their supposed prank war.

Tucker squinted at the hole. "You sure you're the one who got thrown? No offense, Danny, but your butt just isn't that big."

Danny was glaring at his friend. "My butt is amazing, thank you."

Sam reached over to pat his head. "It's a very fine butt, Danny, but I think what Tucker is trying to say is that you got your mom's end of the gene pool, not your fathers."

Now everyone in Casper High was squinting at the giant hole in the wall. It actually did look as though Jack Fenton had come barreling through it sometime last night. The fact that he had done this once before only increased everyone's suspicions.

"I may or may not have taken out a mail box before hitting the wall…" Danny admitted slowly, as if embarrassed.

Tucker's eyes were wide. "That's a hell of a big mailbox."

"…and a table."

By now all the students of Casper High were raising their eyebrows at Danny. He sighed loudly. "Okay! And a tree, but that totally wasn't my fault. I mean, what kind of tree pops out of the ground by one little push."

"Your little push could send someone to space," Sam pointed out. "Or, you know, send a mailbox, a table, and a tree through our super reinforced anti-ectoplasm walls."

"So _that's_ why my head hurt so much afterwards," Danny whined, covering his head.

Maddie and Jack were startled out of their private conversation with Lancer by the snickering sounds of the children sitting outside and watching them through the empty space. "Well that's a bit odd," Maddie commented, looking out at the kids and spotting her son. "I don't see what's so funny about a ghost attack."

Lancer privately decided he should mentally prepare himself for what was to come.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Students jumped out of the way as Jack and Maddie Fenton raced down the halls in between 4th and 5th period. They had finished reconstructing the shields and alarms an hour before, but their monitors kept going off saying there was 'ecto energy usage' nearby so they hadn't left the school grounds yet. The hunters were each carrying a large weapon and a small beeping device.

"It's this way, Mads! The readings were off the charts!"

"Hurry, Jack, before it gets away!"

One student noticed Danny and his friends at the end of the hall. "Danny! You gotta do something about your parents!" he cried as the two adults got closer. They were almost running over terrified students who didn't move fast enough.

Danny's head whipped up as his eyes looked around franticly. "My parents?! You have to hide me!" he cried, running to Dash. "Quick, shove me in a locker!"

Dash blinked down at the smaller teenager. "Well this is an odd turn of events."

"I believe it's what you'd call irony," Sam said, calmly closing her locker door and stepping out of the way to prepare for the Fenton stampede.

Danny grabbed Dash's hand and forced it over the collar of his own shirt. "HURRY!"

Though used to the youngest Fenton's weird quirks, the students were oddly unsettled by the way he was running from his parents. It's not as though they'd make fun of him for it anymore. They'd grown up.

Dash, although confused, shrugged and placed the teen in his locker- a lot more carefully than everyone thought he would- and shut the door.

The Fenton parents were almost down the entire length of the hall so Dash asked Tucker and Sam really quickly, "Is he afraid of his folks or something?"

Tucker hummed. "That's a difficult question to answer so I'm just going to say he's mostly just being a little shit right now, don't worry."

The students who hadn't run remained pressed against the locker walls as the explosive couple skidded to a stop. Their motions were frantic as they searched their device and the surrounding area.

"There's a small dot around here, but the spike from earlier is still a good twenty feet away," Maddie observed.

"Ignore the small fry!" Jack cried, charging forward. "Fentons catch the big one's!"

The adults let out loud battle cries once again before taking off down the hall. The scene was quite hilarious and the students couldn't help but laugh at the odd couple those two made. Despite having made fun of the entire Fenton family as Freshmen, they'd made friends with their son and daughter, and oddly found themselves relating to them. Everyone's parents embarrassed their kids, it just sucked those two got stuck with the loudest ones.

Dash sighed. "Okay, Fenton, you can come out now. They're gone."

Danny calmly stepped out of the locker on the opposite wall _fifteen lockers down from Dash and his friends._ "Thanks, Dash! You're a real lifesaver," he gushed, grabbing his friends and walking to class.

"Fenton- no no no oh my shit, _what the fuck_ ," Dash screamed, voice high pitched as he backed away from the teen who had somehow come out of a different locker than the one he was placed in.

Danny sent him a weird look over his shoulder, seemingly ignoring the other teenagers making vague expressions of goldfish around him. "What? Your locker smelled like peaches. I don't like peaches."

"Fenton, _I swear to God_."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

When his 7th period class screamed loudly and jumped out of their seats Lancer didn't even look up from his paperwork before saying, "Hello, Daniel."

The bodiless figure smiled from his position partly through the wall behind his teacher. "Hey Lancer!"

"Must you frighten the Freshmen? Some of them have only just moved here this year."

"Just preparing them for the fun of living at Amity Park," Danny replied, cheerfully. He turned his head sideways to look at a group of kids who were brave enough to approach him. "Don't worry, I only bite on full moons."

The child in the front gasped. "You have werewolves too?"

Danny visibly brightened. "Well, in the ghost zone there are actually dragons and mons-" Lancer looked up from his work long enough to glare at the head of his most troublesome student "-sssssss uh no sorry, no other beings but ghosts. Bummer, right?"

"Do I want to know how this happened?" Lancer gestured to his students missing body.

"Ghosts really don't like me," Danny said, shrugging with his face since he currently lacked shoulders.

The teacher raised an eyebrow. "You're saying a ghost intangibly shoved part of your body through a wall that was coincidently part of the wall to my classroom?"

"Of course," Danny said, looking confused. "How else could this have happened?"

"I have my theories," Lancer grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

The gym class stared at the portion of their classmate's body that hung from halfway up the wall of the bleachers. Sam and Tucker had already captured the ghost that did this and Ms. Teslaf contacted the Fentons for help, but now they were just looking at the odd picture Danny Fenton made without a head.

Star made a small noise. "You were right, it is a nice butt."

The rest of the class nodded.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm never going to be able to stop writing this story, am I? Shorter chapter than usual because WOW I have been writing a lot for each of these chapters lately. My first couple were only 900 so why am I pulling out 4,000-6,000 words now? Hope school is going well for everyone!

Keep sending me ideas! If I can think of enough content to use for it, I'll write it! This idea came from **FanficFan920** So thank you so much! :D


	17. Rule 4

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#4) I will not test out the new ghost alarm system because I'm bored.

* * *

Lunch time saw two of the prettiest girls in the school in an interesting position.

"…what?" Paulina asked, unsure if she'd heard correctly.

Sam thrust her hand out again. "You're on babysitting duty." She placed a piece of paper in the startled girl's arms and then reached behind her to grab the collar of Danny's shirt. "Tucker and I have to talk to Lancer about a rally. I wrote down everything you could possibly need to know and our phone numbers in case there is an emergency."

Paulina slowly read the list in her hands.

 _Do not let him out of your sight._

 _If he asks to go to the bathroom, go with him._

 _Seriously, he will run if you don't._

 _Do not let him near anything that can be used as a weapon (pencil, fork, rope, jacket, book, gun, knife, cafeteria food)._

 _Lunch is peanut butter on his sandwich only (no Jelly, he blew up my room so he's in timeout)_

 _Keep him away from teachers._

 _Actually, keep him away from everyone._

 _No cell phone (last time he called for an airstrike on a private line hence my blown-up room)_

 _If he gets The Look on his face RUN._

By the time the girl had finished, with Star reading over her shoulder the whole time, Sam and Tucker had already left the cafeteria in a hurry.

Danny Fenton sat on the bench next to them, smiling with his eyes open wide and a sparkle of mischief in them.

Star leaned in to whisper in Paulina's ear. "Do you think that's The Look we're supposed to run from?"

Paulina swallowed. "Unfortunately, Star, that's just his normal expression."

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Ten minutes into lunch and they were joined by Valerie who had been studying for the SAT with Kwan and Dash in the library. She looked between Danny rocking back and forth on the bench and Paulina and Star who were not taking their eyes off him as they ate.

"Babysitting duty?" Valerie asked, sitting on the other side of the table. She noticed the sandwich Danny was eating lacked something. "Ah, timeout."

Danny frowned, swallowing his bread and nut spread. "It's so unfair," he complained, facing Valerie who sat herself across from him. "They know I hate toast and this tastes WAY too similar!"

"Maybe next time you shouldn't blow up part of your best friend's house," she commented, opening her own lunch.

Danny glared at her. "How did you know about that?"

"I've learned that every weird or dramatic thing that happens here is somehow related to you, Fenton."

"Blow up a house twice and everybody makes a big deal about it," he grumbled, unhappily.

As Kwan and Dash approached they weren't exactly sure if they wanted to join the conversation, but decided to after that comment. "Twice…?" Kwan asked.

"Whose house?" Dash wondered, pointing as he sat next to Danny. "And why's he here?"

"Babysitting," replied all three of the females at once. Dash nodded as if this were the most normal thing in the world.

"Seriously, guys I'm so bored. You have got to let me do something," Danny groaned, slamming his head against the lunch table. The A-listers watched him, greatly amused.

"Poor Danny," Kwan mock teased with a smile. "After weeks of torturing his classmates and teachers he's punished to experience boredom and the crime of jam-less bread."

Danny's nodded. "I'm just having a bad life."

Valerie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It'll be over eventually."

Danny lifted his head to squint at her. "I honestly cannot tell if that was a threat or not." Valerie's grin was not helping to ease his worries.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

They'd managed to keep him entertained for twenty minutes- _seriously though how the hell did Sam and Tucker do this 24/7? The kid was a freaking ticking time bomb of trouble-_ before Dash unintentionally gave him a great idea to ease his boredom.

Despite their earlier teasing, lunch was coming to an end and Danny had yet to cause a disturbance- _a new record-_ so the A-listers were treading carefully around the teenager.

Chewing, Kwan tried to make conversation. "I know your folks like ghost hunting, but are you into it at all?" he asked, thrilled when Danny stopped banging his head against the table.

Danny hummed. "Yeah, I got into that type of stuff a couple years back," he commented dryly. "Apparently, there's no escaping the family business."

Kwan leaned forward, excitedly. "Are you any good?"

"I've been doing it for years."

Valerie snorted. "Well presumably you've been walking since you were one, but you still have issues with that."

Danny titled his head up enough to glare at the smirking female. "Why are you like this?"

Before the small, angry ball of fury could get an idea for a prank, Dash cut in. "So, uh, your parents are pretty good at that security stuff," he commented.

Danny raised his head enough to peek one blue eye out of his bangs. "Yeah, they're really smart," he said, shrugging. "Why?"

Dash searched for a topic. "Do you know if that stuff actually works or not? I mean, ghosts have gotten through shields before."

"Well yeah, in theory it does but my parents usually wait around for a day to test-" he suddenly stopped. After a moment his back straightened as lips curled upwards. His eyes were wide.

"Oh God," Star whispered, leaning away from Danny, "I think _that's_ The Look."

Paulina searched for escape routes.

Danny shifted to face Valerie. "Hey Val, you want to see an Ecto-Combustion ray made from the cafeteria food and a portable laptop battery?"

Paulina and Star were reviewing the list worryingly. Giving him cafeteria food was on the list of NO. Apparently, Valerie had other plans because her expression obviously declared she was interested.

Danny smiled innocently. "I need a pencil, a fork, rope, 2 jackets, a book, and your cafeteria food," he said. Ignoring Star and Paulina's mumblings about _'they're all on the list!'_ he reached into his pocket to show the table what he'd brought. "I already have the battery.

"Oh no way!" Dash said from behind Danny, waving his arms in an X motion. "Bombs are like a huge no in the school rules and I'm pretty sure-" he was cut off halfway when Danny started to turn around.

Like all things that involve Danny, the process was terrifying to watch as the teen's body remained facing forward while his neck twisted in a horrifying show of breaking the laws of nature. Soon he was smiling at Dash with his body facing the wrong way.

Dash whimpered.

"Danny, please stop terrifying the poor boy," Valerie said, continuing to eat her sandwich while everyone else felt like throwing up. "You're just making him more confused."

"Fine," he whined back, pouting as he corrected his body. "But you're helping me make the bomb then."

Valerie nodded.

Kwan calmly pressed his hands together. "So are we all just going to ignore the fact that shouldn't be physically possible?"

"Don't question the Devil, Kwan," Dash whispered.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Lancer was hardly surprised when the sound of a large explosion went off suddenly, he was just disappointed it hadn't happened ten minutes earlier. He glared at Tucker who was smirking behind his raised arms.

"You owe me fifteen, Lancer," Tucker laughed, holding one palm out.

The teacher mumbled darkly as he passed the teen the cash, "I would have bet my life that Danny wouldn't last twenty minutes."

Sam grinned. "We gave him to Paulina and Star."

"That is extremely unfair," Lancer complained. "If I'd known he had babysitters I would have guessed a later time."

Sam and Tucker just smiled innocently at him. They looked too much like their destruction prone friend that he had to shiver.

After a couple seconds of silence- ignoring the frantic screams in the background and the sound of something crumbling- Sam asked, "Wanna bet on who makes it here first? Fentons or Officer Jones?"

"With the way Jack Fenton drives, this is hardly a contest," the teacher snorted.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

Eight minutes into 5th period and the occupants of Lancer's office consisted of Jack and Maddie Fenton, Sam Manson, Tucker Foley, and a soot-covered Danny Fenton.

The overworked fill-in-for-the-principal silently prayed for strength. "Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, as I have told you there is no need for the ghost weapons-" Lancer was cut off by green goo being thrown into his face.

"Whoops, sorry," Jack Fenton laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Dripping with some sort of ectoplasm residue, Lancer gently placed his hands over his face and promptly slammed his head into the desk. He was ignored.

"Daniel James Fenton, why is it that you felt the need to set a bomb off in the school cafeteria?" his mother demanded while Lancer wallowed in self-pity.

"I just wanted to test if the shield actually worked so I used some of my lunch food and made a bomb," Danny answered.

Jack sniffed. "My son… all grown up. He's already making ghost bombs and everything." At the glare from his wife, Jack backtracked quickly. "I mean, bad. _Bad_."

Maddie covered his face with her hand. "Thank you, Jack, for the support."

Sam turned to Tucker. "Why are we still here? We didn't do anything this time."

Lancer lifted his green face. "You two left him to his own devices," he said, scowling.

"He had babysitters! We gave them a list and our numbers and everything!" Tucker explained.

"Well pick better sitters next time!"

Among the chatter and arguing Danny frowned. "I feel oddly insulted."

Thankfully the police showed up right on time. As the ghost alarm was wired to the regular school fire alarm, the stations were always notified when they go off. Before the officer walked in, everyone knew who it was going to be. Officer Jones was the only one who was ever called when something had to do with ghosts, Casper High, or the Fentons.

The door opened and the man who entered snorted. His gaze found Lancer's, "Hello law abiding citizen," he looked towards Sam and Tucker, "marginally law abiding citizens," his eyes found the Fentons, "…citizens."

"Oh wow," Danny held his heart "I think I'm going to tear up."

Officer Jones ruffled the kid's hair as he passed his chair. Finding a comfortable spot on the corner of Lancer's desk, the officer looked at the people who always seemed to be at the center of trouble. "Alright, what did ya'll do _this_ time?"

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

* * *

 **A/N:** This guest review made me laugh so hard: "At this point I feel like half of the school is at least aware Danny's unnatural but he's such a meme no one rly cares omfg."

DANNY THE MEME.

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

This was mostly an A-listers chapter and it was longer than the last! Danny needs better babysitters. I did a tribute to a guest reviewer's comment about Danny's flexibility and how he seems to have no bones in his body, and to another fanfiction, but it wasn't from DP :) Officer Jones is another of my many OC adult figures in this story. I love him. Till next time!

PS: I replaced the old number 4 with this one. I need to go back to my list and add stuff now.


	18. Rule 5

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#5) I am not allowed to refer to Danny as "King of Ghosts" even though Pariah Dark is gone and no one has stepped up to take the throne. It leads to some interesting theories.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"What are you guys doing?" Dash asked, curiously, leaning over the Trios' shoulders during lunch. "Thinking of a new prank?"

Tucker looked up from his PDA. "Actually we're calculating the entirety of the Ghost Zone using an algorithm I created to-"

"Tuck, English, dude," Danny said, turning to place a hand on his head.

"We're making a map."

Dash looked extremely nervous suddenly. "Wait, you guys have actually _been_ to the Ghost Zone?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. For some reason this made the three teenagers laugh.

Sam gently pet the jock's head. "It's okay, Dash, just don't think about it too much."

Because Casper High's students were forced to become observant by habit in order to escape ghost attacks, several people took notice of the group that formed around Danny, who was always the center of attention nowadays.

Valerie was one of them as she walked over and proceeded to raise an eyebrow at the papers and technology assembled in front of them. "Bomb?" she questioned, completely serious.

"Map," came Danny's reply, as he marked another section on his paper.

"Town?"

"Ghost Zone."

Valerie made a humming sound, apparently approving whatever he was doing. Dash just looked back and forth between the two of them as he leaned away from the table. "How in the world do you two do that?" he asked, not expecting an answer.

He wasn't given one.

"Daniel, that better not be a bomb in the making," Mr. Lancer commented as he walked by their table, heading towards the teachers' lounge. His comment was more of a warning than a question because he didn't stick around for a reply.

"Why does everyone always think I'm making something explosive and dangerous?" Danny whined, turning around to look at Valerie and Dash.

Everyone in the vicinity gave him an unimpressed stare, even the kids who were nearby at other tables and had heard the commotion.

"Did you or did you not set off a bomb yesterday during lunch?" Sam asked, hands on her hips and the 'expression of neutral disappointment' on her face.

"Why do you think no one wants to sit with us today?" Tucker said, spreading his arms to point out the number of empty seats surrounding them.

Danny blinked. "I don't know. I thought maybe I looked ugly or something."

Tucker wrapped his arm around his best friend, squeezing him close. "Without ugly in this world, there wouldn't be anything beautiful," he said, sighing dramatically.

Sam stared Tucker dead in the eye and said, "Thank you for your sacrifice."

All of a sudden Danny froze, finding something within Tucker's PDA that startled him. "Hey, Sam? Where did you get these 'rules of conquest in the Ghost Zone' from?"

The goth scrunched her eyebrows. "I think Princess Dora told me during yesterday's visit so I added them to the file," she explained, taking a bite of salad. "There are a hell of a lot of ancient rules we didn't know about."

Danny pressed the PDA into her hands with the demand of, "Read."

A minute later and the female teenager was spitting out a mouthful of salad. Valerie, who had been reading the information over Sam's shoulder, sputtered incredulously, "Holy Clockwork, I thought you were joking the other day!"

"When I said it, I was!" Danny exclaimed, eyes wide.

"I have no idea what is going on," Dash whispered as he was joined by Kwan and Paulina. Both had noticed the noise and decided lunch was boring without Danny doing something stupid, even though he _did_ bomb the hell out of them yesterday.

"I call Vice!" Tucker shouted, one arm raised into the air.

"I call- _dammit,_ _Tuck_!" Sam growled.

"Can I be treasurer?" Valerie asked, sitting next to the Trio. "Do ghosts even have a currency?"

"Oh! Oh!" Kwan said, smiling and bouncing on his toes. "I could be secretary!"

Dash stared at him. "Do you even know what's going on?"

"No, but I've always wanted the job," he replied, eyes sparkling.

"No one is getting a job because I'm not taking mine!" Danny finally said, slamming his hand on the table. Kwan made a sound of extreme disappointment.

"Danny doesn't want a job?" Pauline asked, tilting her head. She thought this had been about a new prank the Trio was pulling.

Sam smirked at the other girl, crossing her arms. "No, Danny doesn't want to admit he's royalty now."

"Royalty?" the teenagers nearby echoed, turning to look at the pouting senior trying to glare a hole into Sam's face. He was cute, but sure didn't look like royalty with his short stature and general dislike for positions of power: hence his pranks.

"Just because Pariah Dark isn't here to do it doesn't mean _I_ have to rule over the Ghost Zone. Let some other sucker deal with that mess," Danny said.

"But the rules of conquest state-" Sam countered in a sing-song voice.

"And I am politely ignoring said rules."

Tucker took a bite out of his sandwich, trying to finish before the bell rang. "Kind of like you do everything else."

"What? I do not!" Danny defended.

"No friends allowed in the lab," Sam listed off, counting on her fingers all the rules he constantly breaks, "No staying up past eleven, no video games on schooldays, no giving pretty girls cursed necklaces, no selling your parents gear at a garage sale."

"No real-world contraband in the Ghost Zone," Tucker and Sam chimed together, laughing.

"No stealing a sword from the depths of Hel to win a Halloween contest-," Tucker continued, ignoring Dash's startled yelp of 'wait, what?!' "No skipping school to join the circus, no locking teachers in supply closets during detention."

"No slacking on a flour sack group project," Valerie snorted, joining in.

"Okay! I get it!" Danny groaned, rolling his eyes at his friends.

"Man, and that was all just season one!" Tucker chirped, ignoring the confused looks he got from everyone else.

"Just because I'm supposed to be King of Ghosts doesn't mean I have to," Danny said, standing up as the bell rang. The whole group followed as he dumped trash away by the door. "Let's just let this one go."

Of course, Danny Fenton forget that nowadays everyone paid attention to what he did. Including his conversations that, although didn't make sense to anyone listening, always shocked his peers.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"Did you hear?" Mikey whispered to Nathan before science class started.

The alien obsessed boy turned around to whisper, "No? Was it the Trio again?'

Mikey nodded, eyes wide as he looked around to see everyone early to class listening. "Danny's royalty!" he exclaimed.

"What?!" Nathan hissed, leaning backwards.

"It makes sense! That's why he always breaks the rules here and hasn't been expelled yet," Mikey rationalized, noticing that his classmates were suddenly realizing the same thing. "He's probably some Prince from a dying line."

"I swore the Trio said King, though," one girl spoke up next to Mikey and Nathan.

"Then the previous King must have just died," Mikey gasped, hand over his mouth. "Do you think _that's_ why Danny's acting out? Because someone in his family died and he's next in line for a throne he doesn't want."

The bewildered girl had to sit back, pressing a hand to her forehead. "This entire month makes sense now."

"So he's trying not to be chosen as the King by getting himself expelled," another boy voiced, hands slamming together. "That would totally work! No one wants a King that doesn't follow the rules."

Some girl behind them sniffed, "Poor Danny, he lost someone he loves and now all this responsibility is thrust upon him? It's no wonder he's acting out in a fit of teenager rebellion."

"We should help him!" A voice from the back declared. Several exclamations of agreement followed and soon the entire class was excited to inform Danny of their discoveries and multiple theories.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Although they thought Danny would be happy that more than half of Casper High was on his side of "the Prank War" aka "the Prince's Rebellion" now, they were a little shocked when his friends Sam and Tucker burst out laughing at their declarations after school.

I mean, him being the adopted son of the Fentons, birthed from a dying royal blood line whose leader had just been murdered and needed the teenager to take over an entire kingdom of people was definitely the _only_ theory that made sense for why he was acting like this, right?

"Holy- ha- holy Jesus Christ," Sam choked out between laughs, ignoring the confused looks from the teenagers that had approached the Trio to share their thoughts. "I think this hint did more harm than help."

Tucker managed to form the sentence, "They're farther than ever now!" before tumbling into a fit of laughter that had him collapsing on the school's front steps.

"So Prince Danny?" Sam teased, nudging his shoulder. "What's your first decree?"

Danny shoved his so called best friends off his shoulders as he walked away, calling behind him, "No meat or vegan wheatgrass can be eaten within the walls of Amity Park."

For some reason the students felt the rush of a green-looking light fall over them. Sam and Tucker stopped laughing, faces paling as they looked down at their hands.

"Wait, that was just you messing with us, right Danny? There isn't some sort of Kingly Power that responds to your voice? Danny? Danny!" Tucker cried, him and Sam taking off after him.

"Don't punish the meat, Danny! It doesn't deserve this!"

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

 **A/N:** I've made two new stories! One that's crime/hurt/comfort where kids are being kidnapped from Amity Park, and the other is about some television station that sees the dysfunctional Fenton family and realizes they can make a fortune off them on a reality TV show (even though no one watching believes the town of Amity Park is real ;) after all, ghosts are just figments of your imagination).

Both are reveal fics!

My updating schedule is so hectic, but I noticed that only 2 of my stories were made in 2012/2013. I have 7 now and the rest were all published in 2016 so I've been doing WAY better than my younger self with updating.

I also noticed on the poll in my profile that TCAP is the favorite story so far so I updated it :D I literally hate SWMC with a burning passion, but I promised I'd finish it so I'm just pushing it off for now.


	19. Rule 24

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#24) I am not allowed to host a DeathDay party for Daniel Fenton in the school cafeteria. It confuses and scares the humans.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Dash was startled when Tucker and Sam suddenly shoved a piece of paper into his hands in between classes. He raised his eyebrows as he read it, looking up to give the teenagers a disbelieving glance.

"Fenton's…. DeathDay?" he questioned, seriously confused as to why these words were printed on piece of neon green paper with a time stamp beneath them.

"DeathDay?" echoed Paulina, she and the other A-listers crowding around curiously. "What's that?"

Sam waved a hand, looking exasperated. "Since our last hint backfired terribly-"

"-seriously, a very bad idea," Tucker cut in, nodding.

"-we're making up for it with this."

"Also, his first two DeathDay parties were pretty hectic so we decided this time _only_ humans were invited," Sam explained, smiling. "Just makes things easier to control."

"Drunk Danny is not something anyone here needs to experience." Tucker shook his head. "If you think his puns are bad now, just imagine what he's like when his tongue is loose."

"And the memes."

"Oh God, the memes."

"Would you two stop that," Dash snapped, crinkling the paper and glaring at the two teenagers looking quite solemn. "I mean, why are you giving this to me? And what's a DeathDay?"

Sam and Tucker turned to each other, looking angry and surprised. "Seriously? You don't know what a DeathDay is?" Sam whispered, face pinched. "That's rather insensitive of you, Baxter."

Dash gaped like a fish so Tucker to the moment of confusion to add: "11:30 during lunch in the school cafeteria," he said, face blank. "Trust me, you're going to want to be there for the end."

The A-listers watched as the two of them continued down the hall, handing out fliers and smiling cheerfully at everyone. Dash uncurled the hand that crushed their flier and handed it to Kwan.

"Man, I was really hoping I'd actually get to eat today," Kwan commented, accepting his fate as he read over the time stamp.

"As long as it's not another bomb, I'm good," Star said, arms crossed.

"The whole 'Death' title kind of has me worried," Paulina observed, pointing out the bright letters. "A 'DeathDay?' Why one singular day?"

Dash suddenly paled, looking around and noticing similar expressions on some of the other kids in the hallways. "Hey, nerd!" he shouted at Mikey, noticing that he appeared panicked. "What the hell does this mean?"

Mikey squeaked, but against all odds the smaller boy actually stayed put. "How would I know?"

"You've got this weird look on your face."

Mikey turned to the A-listers who were watching him and noticed that the rest of the hall was listening. "Well, it's just," Mikey said, nervously rubbing his arms and avoiding eye contact. "Danny's been pulling a lot of stunts lately. And I can't help but think this feels like, well, a _bucket list_."

Dash's fingers clenched around the paper again, nails digging into his palms. 'DeathDay' was just given a whole new meaning as it slowly dawned on the minds of the other students.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"All right, break it up everyone, the natural disaster is here and he needs help," Danny announced as he burst into Lancer's Freshmen class.

Lancer pressed his forehead against the whiteboard, hand frozen halfway between writing the word 'novel.' "I really should expect this by now," he muttered.

Danny nodded, clearly agreeing. "You should," he voiced, walking through the isles and dropping fliers on each of the student's desks. The Freshmen curiously read them.

"DeathDay?" a small boy asked, looking towards Danny.

The senior swooned. "Ah, the innocence of youth," he hummed, hands pressed over his heart.

Lancer recovered and turned around, picking up a sheet from his desk. "Daniel, what is this supposed to be?"

"My DeathDay celebration!" he exclaimed with a smile. "Of course, the actual date was way earlier on in the year, but I kind of skipped celebrating because _yikes_ , you do not want to know what I'm like when I'm wasted."

Lancer calmly pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to pretend like my _underage_ student who knows how to make _bombs_ didn't say that."

Danny laughed. "Oh, don't worry, I just fought a light post last time, nothing explosive."

"Did you win?" the boy from before asked.

Danny's face flushed. "Well, it was a pretty strong light post."

The teacher wanted to ask several more questions, especially when he read the title again, but Danny was out of the classroom as quickly as he had entered.

"Isn't that the guy that brought the ghosts to school?" one of his students asked.

"And got shoved through our wall?" another voiced.

"I thought he was a prince."

"I thought he was a girl!"

"Well I thought he was a ghost!" Everyone looks at the student who said that. "What? Stranger things have happened," he defends. The class can't help but agree.

The boy from before asked the very question Lancer was worrying over: "He's not going to kill himself, right?"

Lancer sighed, sitting at his desk and rubbing his head. Every time he took a step forward towards figuring out Danny Fenton, the kid seemed to shove him two steps back. "If I know Danny Fenton, and believe me, I do, then whatever this is will certainly not be what it seems," he groaned out loud, ignoring the twinge of worry he felt.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

By lunch time, everyone in the school believed Danny was going to make today his 'DeathDay.' There were worried classmates watching the doors and roof top entrances for the now deemed suicidal teenager, and teachers with their fingers hovering over the emergency call buttons on their cell phones.

No one wanted to jump to conclusion- not realizing that they'd already done just that- in case this was just another one of Fenton's weird pranks. The 'DeathDay' thing combined with the fact all his pranks were reckless and in resemblance of a bucket list made for a very concerned human population.

Valerie, on the other hand, was laughing her ass off.

"This isn't funny!" Dash hissed at her from his lookout spot by the entrance of the cafeteria. Danny hadn't appeared yet, but everyone was keeping their eyes open.

"No, you're right," Valerie said, "this is _hilarious_." The girl tilted her head towards the entrance to the teachers' lounge where they were watching everyone like hawks. "Even they're falling for this."

"You think Fenton trying to off himself is funny? I thought you guys were friends now."

"It's not like he can die twice," Valerie grumbled.

Kwan turned to her with wide eyes, completely horrified. "Oh God, you're turning into one of them."

The sudden loud blast of music silenced the room, forcing all conversation towards the source. Danny Fenton was racing across the cafeteria- _seriously where the hell did he come from?-_ and jumping up on the center table- which happened to hold some very confused Freshmen- as Eye Of The Tiger played in the background.

The music was loud, and a couple people were laughing, so Danny screamed overtop of it, "Welcome to the celebration!" His eyes were sparkling as he smiled at everyone. The Freshmen and Sophomore class seemed to be the only ones laughing along with him.

"FENTON!" Dash shouted from by the door, hands cupped around his mouth. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Celebrating!" he announced again, pulling Sam and Tucker up to stand next to him. "We brought cake!" Danny shoved the confection forward, showing an image of Danny and weird lighting strikes around him. There were floating green icing ghosts in the corners.

Dash and the other people of the Senior class were so startled that the first thing any of them could piece together was from Mikey who shouted, "Wait, so you're not trying to die today?"

Startled, Danny, Sam, and Tucker laughed. "Of course not!" Danny replied, grinning. "It's not like I can die twice."

In the background, Valerie cackled.

Everyone who had believed otherwise breathed a sigh of relief. This was just another one of his stupid school pranks. "At least we get cake this time," Kwan said, smiling and obviously looking on the bright side.

Dash clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together. "Great Fenton, now that I know you're not going to kill yourself, **_I'm going to kill you_** _."_

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The teachers allowed the odd, disruptive party because it was probably the least destructive thing Danny Fenton had come up with yet. At least everyone got cake. And some sort of weird drink that Valerie brought out that made Danny act weird.

The students of Casper High had no idea what the ceiling fan had done to offend Danny so much, but at least watching him try and fight it was entertaining.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

 **A/N:** Two chapters back to back with his classmates coming to the wrong conclusion. Danny's going to give them heart attacks before he gets to reveal who his is! Don't worry, he'll give them a break next chapter. Or at least he'll try to ;)

You guys are seriously the best. I received so many reviews and PMs about ideas for this story and I am determined to WRITE THEM ALL BECAUSE THEY'RE SO GOOD! I love your reviews and GUYS, I've almost reached 1,000 for this story! My only other story that hit 1,000 is SWMC and since this story is everyone's favorite according to my poll (even more than SWMC), I really want it to go farther! Thank you for the support!

Thanks to **PhoenixWillowsRox88** for this idea! I replaced the old #24 because I used the ideas I had for that one in another chapter already.

 _EDIT 3/30/17:_ Special thanks to **Like A Pro** for adding a fantastic line to this story: The "I thought he was a ghost!" section.


	20. Rule 27

**Things I Cannot Do In Amity Park**

# 27) I will not make up fake ghost illnesses and convince the students of Casper High they have been infected.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"I know that look. That look usually gets me into trouble. That look precedes a very bad day for everyone. What exactly are you planning?" Sam asked, wondering if she should be running in the opposite direction as fast as she could.

"Something totally harmless, I promise," Danny replied, crossing his arms behind his back and humming. "So, remember when Spectra had that hospital-"

Tucker threw his hands up. "I heard hospital, and I am _out_."

"-and everyone was infected with that weird ghost bug that made them glitch with ghost powers?"

"Yes," Sam replied slowly.

Danny tilted his head and brought forth a grey thermos. His friends stared and he sighed. "Guys, it's not a bomb."

"You say that like we're _not_ supposed to still be worried," Tucker grumbled.

Danny rolled his eyes, shoulders sagging under the miniscule of faith his friends had in him. "My dad tried to make a thing that gets ghosts sick, but it didn't work and it just makes humans glow a little."

They reached their lockers and Sam proceeded to lean against Danny's and cross her arms. "And?"

"I may or may not have released some of this stuff near an air vent."

Sam dropped her arm. "Are you trying to convince the school they have a ghost sickness?"

"It's deadly." Danny grinned. "Get it? Deadly, 'cause you know, ghosts."

"And the puns continue," Tucker deadpanned, looking to the ceiling. "Now I wish that really had been a bomb."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Dash squinted at his arm, waving it in front of his face.

"If you're trying to lick your elbow, it isn't working," Star commented, watching him from across the lunch table. "You've been doing that for five minutes already and you're not any closer."

Dash scowled at her, but was more concerned with his skin than her tone. "Does my arm look funny to you?" he asked, shoving it closer to her.

Star was unimpressed and very hungry. Not a good combination to deal with Dash's nonsense. In the background, she noticed the Trio walking by and tensed, wondering if they'd planned anything for lunch today, but they only seemed to be talking about ghost things as usual.

"-yeah, it's been going around lately. Mom says she's never seen something spread this quickly before," Danny's voice carried to the A-lister table.

"Oh no, what type of symptoms do people usually have?" Strangely enough, Sam's voice was completely emotionless and she seemed to be glaring at Danny. Actually, that wasn't such a strange thing to see.

Tucker was muttering what sounded like "Hospitals" under his breath.

"That's a good idea, Tuck, but it's not deadly so there's no need to bother the hospital," Danny said, shaking his head and talking louder than normal. Weird. "If your skin looks bright green, if your throat is sore, if your hairline is receding, if your cheeks are bloated, you probably have the new ghost sickness being passed around. My parents say it's a big one!"

Star's eyes followed them as they walked away. She turned back to finish her lunch and almost jumped at the horrified look in Dash's eyes.

"I'm turning green again," he whispered, looking down at his hands.

Star prepared to deal with his oncoming overdramatic mental breakdown. She hadn't thought Dash remembered the first time.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Of course, Danny's "brilliant plan" (his words, not theirs) worked and Dash whined to his friends and anyone else in the school that would listen for the next three periods. Soon his classmates were starting to notice their slightly green skin and were suddenly experiencing symptoms that they didn't actually have.

"Ah, the power of persuasion," Danny claimed, hands on his hips, standing proudly in the middle of the hall as panicked students swarmed around him.

From her position near the corner of the chaos, Sam glared. "You look like a supervillain."

"I'm channeling my inner frootloop."

Tucker snapped a picture of his pose to send to Vlad later. He would probably cry tears of pride and joy when he saw it.

The plan backfired when the Trio suddenly realized that since they were the ones that spread the information about a ghost sickness, their classmates would come to them for help. After all, they were the "weird Trio who knows more about ghosts than they really should and isn't that weird why aren't we asking about that it's like they have a huge secret or something."

Okay, not that last part, but Sam can dream that there would be an eventual end to this mayhem when their classmates finally start to _use their brains_.

"You're not going bald," Danny reassured, patting the jock as he cried on his shoulder.

"Google says I'm dying," Dash insisted.

Some even dared to approach Sam with their problems. "Just look at me," Paulina wailed, rushing to the goth while Danny dealt with Dash. "I'm hideous!"

Sam blinked down at her. "Pretty sure that's just your face."

Paulina sobbed.

 _"Sam!_ _You are not helping_!"

The goth sent a bewildered look to Danny. "Excuse me, I thought that was fairly comforting!"

Tucker was also having issues with keeping everything under control. "Just don't look in a mirror for the rest for your life and you'll be fine!" he told a Freshman cheerfully.

 _"Tucker!"_

"Don't give me that look, you started this, Danny!"

After three full periods of their classmates, and eventually their teachers, worrying about their state of health and wanting to know more about this new sickness now dubbed the "Ghost Sniffles" by the students, Danny had the wonderful idea to finally send them to the nurse's office.

"The nurse has the cure!" he announced over the loud complaints, pointing a finger down the hall. "I brought a thermos of it just in case we had an outbreak of- _snort_ \- Ghost Sniffles."

For the first time in a while, the hallways cleared as everyone in the vicinity rushed to the nurses office.

"Our poor nurse," Sam said, sympathetically.

"Don't worry," Danny laughed, waving his hand in a dismissive manner. "I left the cure on her desk and a note to explain the situation. She'll be fine."

"Did you really explain the situation, though?" Sam asked, eyebrows raised, not trusting him in the least bit. Danny just grinned cheekily at her.

"Uh, guys," Tucker voiced, looking down at his PDA, "the nurse is out today. Student volunteers took over for her, and according to the schedule, Valerie is supposed to be in there for the next two periods."

Danny winced. Valerie was going to _kill_ _him._

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"I'm going to kill him," Valerie said unhappily, surrounded by wailing students with a fake ghost disease.

She glared at the less than helpful note left on her desk signed with a little green cartoon ghost. The only words written were, "Jesus made me do it."

"It's sad that he became more troublesome after I found out who he was," she grumbled, pressing her head to her desk and praying for a higher power to end her suffering. "Now I can't just shoot him when he annoys me."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

 **A/N:** Finals, summer courses, and HUGE things with my family got in the way. I'm so busy right now, but I think I can squeeze in a couple TCAP updates. Did you like it? I love hearing what your favorite parts from each chapter are :D


	21. Rule 33

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#33) I am forbidden from implying strange things regarding my relationship with Vlad Masters, if only for the continued health and sanity of one Edward Lancer.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Danny stared down at the five-year-old clutching his leg. When he tilted his head to the left, the small being copied him, eyes wide and full of wonder. "Why is there a child here?" he asked, confused and very concerned at the sight of a toddler in the doorway of his English class.

"Sorry, Mr. Fenton," Lancer sighed, rushing over to pull the kid away. "He's my nephew and my sister is out of town."

Danny looked up, horrified. "Wait, you actually have a sister? I thought that was just a picture of you in a dress."

Placing his nephew on his hip, the teacher raised an eyebrow at his student. "That _was_ just a picture of me in a dress."

"Wow," Danny said, placing a hand over his heart. "And to think I trusted you."

"Trust me, things would have been weirder if you actually saw what my sister looked like."

Dash, who was sitting in the seat near the front of the class, made a face. "Does that mean she's pretty or looks even worse than seeing my overweight teacher in a dress?"

Danny's eyes went wide. "There are some things I really don't need to know the answer to."

The bell rang and Lancer took his place at the front of the class quickly. "Daniel," he announced sternly, making sure his face was serious when all his students turned to face him. Their teacher's eyes were pinched as he hugged his nephew protectively. "No pranks."

The teenager was about to protest when Lancer cut him off. "No bombs, no ghost tours, no unexplainable intangibility accidents, no sex changes, no parties, no fake illnesses, no streaking through the goddamn teacher's lounge-"

"-I was wearing underwear!-"

"-and for God's sake, just have a normal school day for once."

"Is that even possible in Amity Park?" Dash whispered to Paulina. She shook her head, knowing weird was inevitable here.

Danny looked very upset, honestly crushed in the eyes of his classmates and teacher. (In the background, Sam and Tucker were snickering). "What if I don't do any of that and swear it'll be safe?"

Lancer's eyes squinted at the angelic appearance of his student. "No."

The youngest son of the Fenton's sighed dramatically, but knew there was no getting around this. "I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to continue my plans. Oh, what a cruel existence this is."

His classmates almost felt sad that today would be normal. They'd gotten so used to wondering what Danny would be up to that they probably would still be waiting until the end of school for the other shoe to drop.

"I appreciate it, Daniel, thank you," Lancer said, relaxing and allowing his nephew to stand on his own again now that the threat of danger had passed. "Now we can begin class."

The period went fairly well, and surprisingly, Danny behaved. The sad thing was Edward Lancer seriously underestimated one Daniel Fenton's ability to disrupt the natural order of things, even if it didn't technically involve a prank.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

During the last ten minutes before the bell, Lancer's nephew got antsy.

"Go!" he cried, pointing at the door. "I want to get a banana!"

Every adult that had to deal with a toddler at any given point in their life knew what was about to happen. In the process of finishing drawing on the board for his students to copy, Lancer groaned. "Oh no, here it comes."

The child pounded his little fists against the classroom door, screaming louder when Lancer refused to open it for him. "Snack time will be in a few minutes," Lancer tried to soothe, but the five-year-old didn't listen.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, starting to cry and hardly caring that an entire class of teenagers was watching him throw what they believed to be the biggest tantrum in the history of tantrums. It was like the kid was being murdered or chased by a hoard of monsters that wanted to eat him. Oddly specific, but with ghosts being real it was a legitimate fear.

"Jesus!" Paulina groaned, covering her ears. "Are kids always this bad?"

"Worse!" Kwan yelled, thinking of his little sister. "Seriously worse."

Danny Fenton sat in the middle of it all, smiling. His classmates truly wondered if he just enjoyed chaos and disorder.

"Do you want to fix this or something?" Dash asked Danny who looked confused.

"Dude, I deal with ghosts, not kids. I can handle ghost kids, but humans are kind of out of my area of expertise."

"Sometimes I think you forget that you _are_ human," Dash grumbled, still blocking his ears to drown out the child's screams. He missed the creepy grin Danny sent his way.

Pulling a lollypop out of his desk drawer, Lancer finally coaxed his nephew into waiting longer before they went to the cafeteria to grab food. The toddler sat tearfully in his Uncle's seat, suddenly very willing to listen now that he had candy. Lancer sighed exasperatedly at him and picked up the water bottle from his desk, feeling like he was losing more hair from stress than ever before.

"I am never having children," Paulina announced, white faced with her fingers still digging into her desk. "If I ever change my mind in the future, remind me of this moment so I don't make the biggest mistake of my life."

Everyone's ears were still ringing as they nodded their heads in agreement. "Even my sister doesn't scream for that long. That kid is an absolute monster," Kwan moaned, banging his head on his desk. "Seriously, how do parents handle this all the time?"

Behind them, Danny burst out laughing, drawing everyone's attention. "Ha! No way, that kid's an angel compared to what I had to deal with," he explained, rolling his eyes. "If you want to see a _real_ tantrum, you should meet Mayor Masters and I's kid."

Lancer, who was listening to his students in the background, choked on his water.

"Now _that_ was a real problem child. I mean, I get that you'd be upset if your whole family died and stuff, but do you really have to kill people and blow up the entire world to compensate?" Danny sighed. "I feel like we raised him better than that, he's literally half of me so it's not like I was an absent figure in his life."

Danny continued, frowning and crossing his arms. "Then again, his other half hid himself in a cave for years so I guess I can blame that asshole. And technically I never told him about Dan so Vlad doesn't even know."

He suddenly straightened and turned to Valerie, who seemed to be twitching oddly. "Can I still sue Vlad for not providing child support? I want compensation. That jerk got to hide while I had to deal with Dan's tantrum."

"Considering this occurred in a future version of an alternate dimension," Valerie deadpanned. "I'm going to say no."

"Ugh. If only I had known that giving candy to a whiny 20-something-year-old with the mind of a toddler would work. Should have tried that first rather than leaving him in a thermos to rot for the rest of his life."

The classroom was silent and then, "You left your child... in a soup can?" Dash questioned.

" _That's_ what you're most concerned about?!" Paulina screeched.

"Just one day," Lancer muttered under his breath, petting his nephew's head in an attempt to calm himself. "All I asked for was _one day_."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

 **A/N:** Back to back updates! Dan is a whiny toddler who needs some love and warm snuggles. Some people forget that he's literally half of Vlad and half of Danny, he's not entirely "Danny's future self."

I'm almost at 1,000 reviews! Come on, guys, I believe in you!


	22. Rule 29

**Things I Can(not) Do in Amity Park**

#29) Danny Fenton is not dating Danny Phantom despite the overwhelming evidence.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"So, what will it be today? 'Happy Danny' or 'Emo Danny?" Sam asked when she noticed her best friend's stony expression.

Tucker leaned backwards from his locker, giving the other male teenager a onceover. "I think it's 'Murder Danny,' actually."

The body sticking its head inside his locker grunted. With his head still hidden, Danny raised his hand to send them a not so nice gesture.

Tucker blinked at Sam. "Did he just try and give us the middle finger?"

Sam sighed, rubbing her face. "Danny, sweetie, that's your pinkie."

"Just how tired _are_ you?"

Abruptly, Danny turned around, throwing his hands in the air. He had large bags under his eyes and his clothes looked like they had been through a blender; obviously he had seen better days. "Val beat me _again_!"

Hardly amused, his two friends groaned, easily knowing what this was about. "I have absolutely no pity for you," Tucker claimed, closing his locker and walking down the hall.

Sam tugged Danny's sleeve until he followed them away from his own self-pity. They caught up to Tucker easily who appeared to be searching for Valerie.

"You guys don't get it," Danny groaned, twisting his fingers into the rat's nest on his head. Sam calmly took out a comb from her bag and started to brush it. "I'm literally a ghost and the bad guys _still_ like her better–ghosts and humans! She can stop any of them just by showing up, like seriously?"

"She wears a tight jumpsuit," Tucker pointed out.

"I wear a tight jumpsuit."

Tucker shrugged. "She's flirty?"

"I'm flirty! I flirt with death every day."

"And the puns have returned," Sam muttered, looking towards the ceiling. "I honestly did not miss them."

Danny made a show of moving his hands as he talked, expressing his obvious frustration over Valerie being the focus during their nighttime hunts. "These guys are always weak so they're easily manipulated–which is good for me, mind you–but they're so easily swayed by a pretty face that it's ridiculous!"

Danny suddenly frowned. "Not that _my_ face isn't pretty." He turned to Sam. "Tell me I'm pretty."

Sam sighed. "You're pretty."

"Thank you. As I was saying–"

"–there you are!" came Valerie's voice from down the hall. They were already heading in that direction anyways so the Trio eagerly approached her: Danny because he was still whining about last night, and Tucker and Sam because they wanted to know all the juicy details.

"Val!" Danny started, pushing past various students that were whispering weirdly around them. "Tell them how–" he was cut off yet again when Valerie dragged him into the bathroom next to her locker.

Having no choice against her insane strength, Danny allowed himself to be manhandle. Valerie ignored the shocked voices inside the restroom and shoved Danny into the largest stall at the end. Once they stopped moving, Danny looked around. "This is the boy's bathroom," he said.

"I'm aware," Valerie said, rolling her eyes. "Just wanted to get you away from those leeches before they started sucking you for details."

"Details?" came Tucker voice from outside the stall.

Danny's eyes widened. "You guys followed us in here? People are going to think we're holding cult meetings in the bathroom again."

The dark-skinned hand of Tucker and the pale hand belonging to Sam waved over the top of the stall. There was a slight shift of clothing as they leaned against the door, seemingly content with talking through it and waiting outside. Sam laughed. "Cults? Oh, come on! We've done _way_ worse."

"Ghost nerd, focus," Valerie snapped, waving a hand in front of his face. "Haven't you seen the twitter fights?"

"Twitter? Is that the one with the bird thing?"

Tucker made a strangled noise outside of the stall.

"Okay, next chance we get we are making you an account," Valerie informed, rolling her eyes. "You would not believe the attention Amity Park gets on twitter with our own hashtags."

"Our what?" Danny asked, the noise of Tucker sobbing into Sam's arms following his question.

Valerie screamed silently, unlocking her phone and shoving into Danny's face. "Just look!" Several seconds of silence followed Valerie's demand as Danny read over the tweets and articles.

Outside, Sam and Tucker became very worried when Danny suddenly startled cackling.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"But the possibilities!" Danny exclaimed, a smile on his face as he walked towards their first class several minutes later. "Someone has handed me a _delicious_ cake that is just waiting for me to slice it open."

"No," Valerie said.

"No," Tucker said.

"I don't like sweets," Sam said.

Danny frowned, dropping his arms. He glared at his friends who were trying their best to keep a distance of three feet. "You disappoint me."

Valerie shrugged. "Don't expect me to lose any sleep over it."

"Out of all the theories, I do have to admit this is my favorite," Tucker snorted, retweeting a couple of good ones that provided sound evidence. "Man, these guys are obsessed. They've even got you here as 'Fun Danny' and 'Super Danny.'"

Tucker squinted at a sudden notification and said, "Actually, I think I may have just added fuel to the fire. Apparently, Danny Fenton's best friend retweeting their theories basically means they're 'confirmed.'"

Danny rubbed his hands together. "Perfect. Now it's time to get a knife."

"Danny, you can't just kill people–"

"To cut the metaphorical cake, Sam, _Jesus Christ!"_

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Now that the Trio really looked around, it was obvious that everyone was watching them–more so than usual. Their eyes were particularly drawn to Danny who pretended to be completely oblivious and smiley for the rest of the period.

Sam, Tucker, and Valerie knew he had something planned, but honestly, they had no idea how he would approach this one.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Their anatomy teacher asked as he wrapped up at the end of class. Danny's hand shot into the air.

"Yes, actually, I need an expert's opinion," Danny said politely.

Their teacher smiled, eager to answer after such praise. "Of course."

"If you fuck a ghost, is it considered necrophilia?"

Sam slammed her hands on her desk. "Not even _subtle_."

Students screamed, chairs fell, the entire class entered an alternate dimension where theoretical cake came true. A video of the incident was uploaded within seconds.

Tucker could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket–retweet after retweet after retweet after retweet. "Great job, Danny," he commented as the class fell apart around him. "You broke the internet."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

For the rest of the school day, Sam, Tucker, and Valerie couldn't make Danny stop complimenting his ghost half in front of other students. He started out acting like a teenager with an innocent crush, but every time someone would ask if he really was dating Phantom, he started getting more and more explicit.

Eventually they taped his mouth shut.

(Unfortunately, no one saw his friends do it so even _more_ things were assumed about him and Phantom that only made Danny laugh so hard he passed out).

It was a good thing his parents didn't have Twitter.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

 **A/N:** Whoever reviewed with this rule idea, please tell me so I can give you credit! :D


	23. Rule 34

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#34) Fenton Food will not be cooked in Home-Economics.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"That kid of yours is nothing but trouble, Lance," the Psychology teacher grumbled during the break period in the teacher's lounge.

"I can tell him to stop." Edward Lancer shrugged. "He won't listen, but I can ask anyway on principle."

"I dare say that child has caused more chaos at this school than any of the ghosts ever have!" a Freshmen teacher exclaimed from across the table. She slammed her fist down for good measure, encouraged when other teachers nodded in agreement. "At least Phantom comes to protect the children from the ghosts, but we can hardly ask him to deal with an unruly _teenager_."

Lancer quietly sipped his tea from his seat on the couch.

"Aren't you going to do something about it?" the woman asked, frowning at Lancer as he remained unaffected.

There were less than two weeks left in the school year and the teachers of Casper High were at their wits end. Since coming back, Principal Ishiyama had taken no action against Danny Fenton other than glaring at the student in the halls whenever they crossed paths.

"He's not hurting anyone," Lancer argued.

The other teacher gasped angrily. "He created a bomb, infected all the students with a fake sickness, held Ghost Tours during school hours, _streaked through the teacher's lounge_ –

"–technically he was wearing underwear–"

"–and just this last week he spread rumors that he was _dating_ the ghost hero!" she finished, crossing her arms.

Another teacher snorted. "Okay, he may have gone a little too far with that one. It's hardly believable that the son of ghost hunters would associate so closely with a ghost."

Lancer continued to sip his tea.

The Freshmen teacher stood up. If Lancer recalled correctly, she taught Home-Ec to every grade during 5th period. "It's as if we have let a ticking time bomb in our school and I will stand it no longer!"

The Home-Ec teacher proceeded to storm out the teacher's lounge, huffing under her breath about placing Danny Fenton at the front of her class for the remainder of the year.

Lancer saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It appeared that the students had seen her storm out through the glass window separating the cafeteria and the lounge. Sam, Tucker, and Danny were watching with eager expressions.

"Do you think she'll actually do it?" the Psychology teacher wondered, watching the Home-Ec teacher slam the door as she made her exit.

Do what? Expel Danny? Catch him in the act? (Which would hardly change anything. Everyone has seen him pull these pranks multiple times). Stop his reign of pranking terror once and for all?

Lancer chuckled softly, eyeing the students watching them. "No, but I do believe The Trio has spotted their new target."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The minute Home-Ec started, the class was bewildered to find not only a seat set aside near the front of the classroom with "Fenton" painted in large, red letters, but ropes attached to it as well.

Danny paused when he entered. His expression fell. "Ms. Hempson," he said, looking at her with sympathy and rising guilt. "I understand that this is hard for you, but I am already in a committed relationsh–"

"Daniel," she groaned, rubbing her forehead with one hand while the other snapped to point at the chair. "Sit. Down." The student shrugged, wiggling his bottom half as he made a show of getting comfortable among the odd-looking restraints.

"I don't want to have to use those, but if you so much as blow up one thing in my classroom, I will not hesitate," the Home-Ec teacher explained, ignoring Danny's indignant shout that not everything he makes is a bomb.

"Now we are going to have a nice, peaceful, normal day, aren't we?" the teacher asked, staring down the Fenton child as he looked innocently up at her towering figure.

"Yes, ma'am, of course," Danny said, nodding seriously. He rearranged himself so the seat faced the large desk shared by other students during group work. From the outside, he appeared to be the model student.

Sitting beside Danny, Dash whispered to Kwan, "Should we tell her Lancer already tried that two days ago?"

Kwan made an 'I-don't-know' expression, still watching Danny in the strange looking chair. When the teacher turned her back, Danny's face twitched into a very different expression that had the other kids either excited or nervous.

Paulina shivered and turned to Star. "That's the Look," she hissed, already having flashbacks to their babysitting duty and how disastrous it turned out to be. Star held her hand comfortingly.

"Chill out, guys," Danny said quietly to the class as the teacher wrote today's lesson on the board. "I'm not going to blow up anything." He suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small heating pan identical to the ones the Home-Ec classroom provided.

"The food will do it for me," he added, cheerfully.

Everyone was suddenly _very_ terrified.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

During second lunch, when several of the teachers from the lounge earlier had plan period to relax, the door to the lounge burst open with a scream. The other teachers stood up quickly, fearing a ghost attack when they saw the state of the Home-Ec teacher.

Ms. Hempson breathed heavily, her hair in a disarray of tangled strands coated with red and green liquid. Her expression was wild as she pointed out to the hall, one hand resting on her knees. "Hotdogs," she breathed, eyes wide.

The teachers in the longue paused. Mr. Denzburger stepped forward with his hands raised. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Hotdogs," she said again.

Denzburger reached to touch the red and green substances covering her hair. "Is this _relish?_ " he asked, staring at his fingers in confusion.

Somewhere outside the room came a horse cry unlike anything the human vocal cords could make. Ms. Hempson froze, an expression of horror twisting her face. "HOTDOGS!" she screeched, rushing out the door and down the opposite way she had come.

The teachers recovered from their shock long enough to peek outside the door. Down the hall, in large numbers, ran vicious looking cooked hotdogs with relish and ketchup bottles attached to their backs.

The teachers froze when the glowing green beings stopped to face them. One shaking teacher whispered, "Are they carrying… knives?" The hotdog's faces twisted into grins that promised pain.

"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!" the leader cried.

As the teachers screamed and attempted to outrun the sentient food, Mr. Lancer, from his position on the couch, looked down at his cup. "Ah, it seems I'm out of tea."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

Danny grinned. "That went well."

"You're a threat to the community," Sam deadpanned.

The Home-Ec classroom had been transferred into a battle ground. On one end by the windows (where several students had ignored that they were on the second floor and jumped) sat a large pile of desks that rose high enough to evade the hotdog's attacks. On the other formed a large shield made of desks placed on their side: the offense that used various flames from their cooking instruments to roast the vicious ectoplasmic-enhanced food.

"If you think this is bad, you should have seen the Fenton Family's Thanksgiving turkey!" Danny laughed, ignoring the beasts throwing knives at their shield. "That one almost took off Jazz's head."

From their position on top of the pile of desks, Dash hissed, "Drop dead, Fenton!"

"Already did."

" _Encore_!"

Later, when all the ghostly food had been captured, the incident was affectionately named "The Weiner Revolution" by the students. Try as they might, the teachers had no way of blaming Danny for the incident as the pan he brought to use was identical down to its very molecules to the classroom provided ones given to students who were unable to bring their own. It appeared that everything was almost accidental.

When asked how he managed to bring the hotdogs to life, the teenager simply answered that "Fentons have never had good luck with food and this is why we live off toast and cereal."

* * *

 **A/N:** Life is hard when you have a job. I just did a wedding so I've been working on film-related things for the past couple of weeks :p I passed all the sections of my GKT and in two years I can be teaching English Language Arts and Literature at the high school level! I'm so excited :D

Don't forget to tell me what you liked most about this chapter! I love to hear from you guys! Thanks to **DoctorKnight** for the Home-Ec idea!


	24. Rule 19

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#19) No matter how well deserved, throwing things at Danny Fenton is counterproductive.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"The Weiner Revolution," as it was so affectionately named, ended by forcing everyone who had detention that day to clean up the leftover sentient hotdog beings after school. Unfortunately for Danny, Sam Manson was forced to touch meat with her hands.

And she was _not_ happy.

Her purposeful march into school the next day–trailed by Tucker, but with Danny nowhere in sight–immediately caught the attention of her fellow classmates. She was smiling too wide, with one hand clutching something shaped like a banana.

"Please don't be another bomb," Dash breathed, taking a cautious step away from the center of the hall as Sam passed.

"Not everything we make is–" Sam paused. After a moment, she shrugged. "You know what, never mind. Most things we make are bombs."

"Don't worry, Dash," Tucker reassured, stepping forwards to join the A-listers. He offered a comforting pat on the jock's tall figure. "Unless your name is Danny Fenton, you're safe."

The students listening were suddenly very interested. "You're going to prank Fenton?" Kwan asked, wide eyed. "But isn't that, like, against the rules?"

"Rules?" Sam leaned backwards to belt out a laugh. The students swore a darkness started to curl around her figure. "There are no _rules_ in war."

The students shivered. "She's just pissed she had to touch meat," Tucker commented dryly, shrugging. "And because Danny was just being a little shit yesterday."

"He's like that every day," Paulina deadpanned.

"Yeah, but normally his chaos is productive. I mean, are you guys any closer to figuring it out because of hotdogs coming to life?"

"What?" Dash asked, confused. He was echoed by every student listening.

Tucker gestured to the students. "Exactly."

Sam suddenly showed their classmates what she held. It was a green and white boomerang, an obvious ghost weapon considering the giant FENTON sticker on the side of it. There were blinking lights as she powered it up.

Dash easily recognized the weapon as something Phantom was hit with often.

"Yes," Sam and Tucker agreed.

"Okay, but you're going to use it on _Fenton_?"

"Yes," they answered again, watching Dash with strangely intense looks.

A pause. "That's kind of mean that you'd use his own parent's weapons against him," Dash said, frowning at the boomerang. "I mean, those are meant for ghosts."

Sam and Tucker prayed for strength.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

A horrified scream, far worse than anything the students heard during the "Weiner Revolution," followed Danny Fenton as he turned the corner. Several students startled, moving out of the way when the teenager flew past. It took them a minute to realize the screaming sound was coming from him.

Danny launched himself over a terrified Mikey who hadn't moved out of the way in time. As shocked as everyone was to witness his surprising agility, the effect was ruined when he crashed into a trashcan after the landing.

"I DESTROYED YOU," he screamed, upside down against the wall with his foot halfway in the trash. He quickly dodged left when a blurry object slammed against the place he was not a moment before. "YOU WERE IN PIECES AT THE FARTHEST END OF THE GHOST ZONE!"

The object made a whirring sound as it adjusted its direction to face the teen staring at it with horrified eyes. Danny paused long enough to allow the boomerang to get close before ripping the locker next to him open (completely destroying the lock) and shutting it on the invention. He spun around, pressing his back against the locker. Loud slams came from inside.

As he used his back to trap the machine, Danny turned his head and noticed Valerie calmly placing books in her own locker directly next to him.

"What should I do?" Danny cried, his body constantly being shoved forward as the boomerang attempted to escape.

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, this is the part where I give you advice and you pretend to listen to it," she said, shutting her locker door. "I love this part."

"Valerie, I _destroyed_ this thing. WHY IS IT HAUNTING ME? THAT'S MY JOB!"

"Maybe because you have the unrivaled ability to piss people off."

"WHO RAISED IT FROM THE DEAD?!"

Valerie grabbed the strap of her backpack and swung it over her shoulder. "Well, let's see," she explained, counting on her fingers, "you have one extremely intelligent friend with a revenge streak and resources, and another equally smart friend who's good with technology. But, yeah, you're right, who could it _possibly_ be?"

"Tucker and his stupid obsession with meat–for God's sake, Tucker! At least I didn't try and _eat_ sentient, ghost hotdogs like a certain someone!" Danny yelled angrily at the ceiling.

"I'm betting on Sam and her aversion to anything meat," Valerie guessed, shrugging.

"Fine, next time I'll bring the _salad_ to life instead."

Amused, Valerie started to walk away, hiding a grin. Her fast pace gave away her desire to leave as quickly as possible. "I would run if I were you," she called out finally, halfway down the hall.

Danny jerked his head to follow her, bangs sticking to his forehead in his haste. "Why?"

"If they went through all that time to recreate your worst nightmare, do you really think they made just one?"

Loud whirring sounds came from the opposite end of the hall.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

During lunch, Danny Fenton–covered in trash and other questionable green substances–approached the table where his dear friends sat. Everyone watched as he slammed down several broken pieces of green and white machines.

He stared them dead in the eye and hissed, "Never again." Having said all he wanted to, Danny turned around and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Sam and Tucker were left smiling to themselves. "Twelve might have been a bit excessive, but who cares?" the goth hummed, quite pleased with herself. She continued her vegan lunch with gusto.

Tucker looked confused. "I thought we made thirteen?" he asked, wondering where the last one went.

Sam raised a finger to her lips.

The other students peered down at the destroyed weapons in awe. By then, the rumor that Danny Fenton had become the victim of a prank by his own friends had reached the entire school, but no one knew he'd be able to stop it so quickly.

"Woah!" Kwan gasped, poking the closest piece. "I thought these were indestructible."

Star followed him, tilting her head curiously at the green substances covering the broken boomerangs. "Isn't this ectoplasm?"

Dash gasped, slamming a fist into his palm. "It makes sense! Danny must have gotten Phantom to help him destroy them." The others around the group nodded, recalling how the weapon was often used to annoy the ghost hero.

Dash turned to face Sam and Tucker, shaking his head. "If you guys really wanted to make sure these chased Fenton all day, then you should have set some on Phantom too to keep him busy. Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed."

Sam and Tucker prayed for their sanity.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

 **A/N:** I'm in Colorado for my little sister's marksmanship competition! She's competing at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs tomorrow and I'm super proud. Hope you all like the chapter! Don't forget to tell me what you liked best.

Special thanks to **GracefulLeopard** for the boomerang idea!


	25. Rule 21

**Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park**

#21) The GIW are not toys and I am forbidden from stepping within a mile of them.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Class started off fairly normal. Danny paid attention–almost sending everyone into a fit of worry–and did his work while secretly plotting today's fun.

School was almost over, and Danny was starting to run out of ways to implement his ideas. He wanted Amity Park to get a clue already, but halfway through his plans, he started just having fun messing with everyone.

"Why didn't I do this years ago?" he laughed quietly, unaware of the wide looks his classmates sent him at the sound. Lancer's class would end in a few minutes and everyone would head to their next period. Danny placed a hand on his chin and ran several ideas through his head.

"I don't like that look," Dash voiced, facing Danny who sat behind him.

Danny hummed. "Well, I was thinking about bringing a negative camera and showing everyone what they'd look like once they succumbed to the inevitable end of their own existence–"

Someone near them whimpered.

"–But, I'm not _that_ mean," Danny finished, sighing. "Plus, I don't think I need to send more than two Freshmen a week to the nurse's office."

"You sent four last Friday."

Danny closed his eyes and leaned backwards into his crossed hands with a smile. "That was a good week."

Lancer approached them, reaching for the finished quizzes on their desks. "Hello, Daniel," he voiced as he walked past. "Made anyone cry today?"

"Sadly, no, but it's only 10:30."

"Please, do stay away from the Freshmen. I'm still paying for their therapy."

Danny threw his hands in the air. "At least none of them have moved away."

"Yet."

The bell rang and Danny walked with Dash to the direction of their lockers. The hallways were relatively clear as several students did their best to avoid being in the halls as the same time as Danny Fenton. They learned the hard way that any and all students were susceptible to his whims at any given point in time during the school day.

"So, if you're not doing the whole 'this is what you'd look like as a ghost' thing, what _are_ you planning?" Dash asked, warily. He pretended to be searching through his locker as he watched Danny from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I haven't made a bomb in a while," Danny thought out loud, ignoring Dash as he took several steps away from him. Anyone within hearing range froze.

"But I don't really have the energy to appreciate blowing something up right now," Danny sighed, looking disappointed. Around him, the students relaxed and carried on with their day.

Dash remained a safe distance of 12 feet.

"DANNY!" Paulina screamed, rushing out from the corner of the hallway. She was holding some sort of newspaper in her hand and waving it frantically as she pushed everyone aside. She passed Dash in the middle of the hall, giving him an odd look at his distance.

When she reached the teenager, she shoved the newspaper into his hands. Danny blinked down at it. "Um?"

"Read it!" she insisted, settling against Dash's still open locker. Said jock was slowly making his way back towards them.

Danny stared at the headline of the trashy article where the GIW did what they always did best: claimed that Danny Phantom was a nuisance to society. "This is literally an everyday occurrence. Honestly, Paulina, you don't have to defend Phantom's honor every time"–

Paulina's eyes were as hard as steal. "The bottom half."

He continued reading and let out a soft, "Oh, well that's a dick move."

The beautiful Latina girl tore the paper from his hands when he was done and screamed out her frustration. "Exactly! I cannot believe they'd use _children_."

Dash looked over her shoulder and read the bottom half of the article with a disturbed look on his face. "They want permission to look at the dead bodies of kids for 'research purposes on ghosts and the afterlife' okay, wow, yeah that's way too far, even for them."

Paulina turned to Danny again, eyes flashing under the florescent lights of the school hallway. "Do something."

"Me?" Danny asked carefully, feeling anticipation and hope fill his chest. "What could I, powerless Danny Fenton, possibly do to stop this?"

"You've practically dismantled the entire social and academic structure of Casper High in a week," she explained, eyes narrowed. "Even the principal won't go against you anymore."

"Well, I'll give you that," Danny said, sighing and hunching over with dropped shoulders. "And you were so close, too."

Paulina frowned. "What?"

"Nothing." Danny's frown started to turn into a grin. He ran over the possibilities in his head, thinking of all the ways to get back at the GIW for years of Phantom hating propaganda. "But if we're doing this, we'll need help."

"We?" Dash squeaked, jumping when Danny suddenly grabbed his and Paulina's hands before racing down the hallway _._ He almost tripped as he was pulled against his will. _"We?"_

They passed Lancer's class in a hurry, brushing by the teacher who poked his head out to call after them, "Where are you three going?"

"TO SEEK REVENGE UPON OUR ENEMIES!" Danny cackled, ignoring Dash's terrified yell and Paulina's cheering.

Lancer nodded. "Okay, be back before lunch."

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

"This plan will require Danny's greatest strength," Sam whispered to the group that stood huddled in the forest outside of the GIW laboratory after skipping school. The distance wasn't that far, so once they located Sam, Tucker, and Valerie they walked only a mile to find it.

Danny grinned. "What, my eyes? My dashing good looks? My ability to pass intangibly and invisibly through walls–"

Dash startled, remembering the locker incident. " _Wait_."

"–or my wonderfully devious mind?"

"Your obnoxious personality," Sam supplied.

Danny blinked at the group. "That'll work."

Valerie hummed, rubbing her chin and giving Danny an appraising look. "He _is_ very annoying, but annoying enough to hold the GIW's attention while looking black-haired and blue-eyed? I don't know."

"You underestimate my ability to make enemies," Danny exclaimed, placing a hand over his heart. "All I had to do was own a dog for you to hate me." The glare he received from Valerie did very little to ruin his fake offended look.

Dash didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know.

He asked anyways.

"A dog?" he voiced, eyeing the four of them.

Danny turned, smiling. "Ah, yeah, I may have lost control of this ghost dog that could turn into a _really big ghost dog_ , and it kind of got loose and ruined Valerie's entire life. I'm very good at that."

"Letting ghosts loose?"

"Ruining lives."

Dash and Paulina were very concerned when Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Danny himself nodded.

Dash suddenly wasn't sure setting Danny on the GIW was such a good idea. Maybe they should just destroy their lab and the entirety of their lives' work in research. It'd be far more merciful.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

When they finished debating, the plan was simple. Get in, destroy shit (enough to make the GIW decide to never follow down the path of using the corpses of dead children again), and get out.

Everyone should have known by now that when Danny Fenton was involved, things were never simple.

They debated having Danny be the distraction, but apparently the security was light today. It started easy with everyone sneaking in wearing a disguise of some sort: hat, glasses, facial hair etc. They split into groups: Paulina and Sam, Tucker and Valerie, Dash and Danny; and easily found the areas where the GIW kept their research. There were only eight guards total on duty–according to Tucker who somehow hacked into their security system (and no, Paulina and Dash were NOT going to ask because just _nope_ ).

They found the files on the research, along with several torture-y looking devices that Danny sent an extremely frosty glare at before allowing Dash to ram them with a hammer. They tried their best to ignore the body bag they found that may or may not contain what they wished it didn't contain.

As they were leaving, however, Danny and Dash just so happened to run into a dead end. "This was totally the right way," Danny voiced, staring up at the wall.

Dash grabbed a fistful of his own hair. "Oh god, we made a wrong turn. What are we going to do?"

"I could just go through the wall"–

" _Not the time, Fenton!"_

Danny huffed. "Well, then, we need to turn around. Use the Fenton phones Sam gave you to tell everyone…" he slowly trailed off when they heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

A guard turned the corner and both he and the teenagers froze with wide-eyed looks as they stared down the hallway at each other. There was a tense silence.

Then, Danny's mustache fell off. "My identity is revealed," he gasped, pressing both hands over his cheeks.

The guard sprang into action, yelling into the radio attached to his shirt and warning the other guards there were two intruders in their facility. He was jerked out of his state of anger and panic by Danny pushing his hands on his shoulders and launching himself over the guard.

"Time to go!" he cheered, leaving his fake mustache on the ground. Dash ran after him, screaming.

They turned several corners they didn't recognize until they finally ran into Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Paulina near the surveillance room. An alarm was blaring overhead.

"Goddamn it, Danny," all four of them cursed in various levels of intensity.

Danny pretended to be offended. "It could have been Dash's fault." Sam gave a pointed look to the terrified jock who appeared to be a second away from a mental breakdown. "Okay, yeah it was my fault–but for once, not on purpose," Danny exclaimed, cheerfully grinning with his hands on his hips.

Valerie grabbed him by the shirt. "Remember that really dumb thing you did?"

Danny blinked up at her. "Listen, you're going to have to be a bit more specific there."

"Go cold, Fenton," Valerie ordered, staring deep into his eyes when they widened. "Distract them while we escape."

Danny laughed, sounding far more eager to do whatever Valerie suggested he should do than Paulina or Dash were comfortable with.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The GIW agents were frantic. They'd already contacted their supervisor about the breech, but they had yet to locate the people who broke in. The first guard had sent over very little information other than something about "kids" before he was cut off by laughter, and the remaining GIW men were starting to panic.

Three of them turned the corner and were hit with a blast of cold air.

"Damn air-conditioning's broke again," Agent K growled, rubbing his arms and continuing forward.

"Is it getting colder?" a rookie agent voiced the longer they walked.

The agents refused to be intimidated by cold air, but their instincts were screaming at them by the time they made it to the end. There was a feeling of apprehension growing as the shadows on the walls appeared to move.

Suddenly, a small voice came from around the corner that had the agents pausing to listen. "Is that humming?" Agent L asked, bewildered.

The sound was familiar, more than likely a song they had heard before, but the eerie way it was sung sent shivers down their spines that had nothing to do with the cold. The atmosphere felt heavy.

They readied their weapons when a pale looking child turned the corner, humming softly as he ran a hand over the wall. He had black hair that almost look blue, with bright, glowing blue eyes and tiny specks of frost covering his cheeks. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was a dull grey color, lacking warmth.

Despite the oddity, the agent's weapons still didn't recognize the being as a ghost. "STATE YOUR NAME AND BUSINESS," Agent L shouted, aiming his gun. The two other agents followed suit.

The child continued to hum, watching as frost bloomed wherever his hands touched, as if fascinated by it. He finally turned those unnatural blue eyes towards the agents. The grin on his face stretched wider than humanly possible as he titled his head, having not yet blinked once since appearing.

 _"Are you the ones who took my body?"_

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Sitting outside the facility with the rest of the group, Dash shivered at the terrified screams that came from inside.

Next to him on the grass, Sam sighed into her hands. "Looks like _all_ the Fentons will have restraining orders from the GIW now."

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" she asked, thinking of Jazz's kindness, Jack's happiness, and Maddie's intelligence.

"Oh, yeah," Tucker laughed, looking up from his PDA that showed the footage of Danny terrorizing the GIW agents. "If you think this is bad, you should have seen Mr. Fenton when he broke in."

"Granted, he did it because he's a huge fan of the GIW, but did he really have to hospitalize half of them?" Sam wondered out loud, shrugging.

Another scream came from inside. "What is wrong with this family?" Dash whimpered.

* * *

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Rule #21 was originally "I will not give Danny Fenton sugar," but I'm using some of the ideas I had for something else so I scrapped it. Because I haven't updated this in like a month, here's a long chapter (2k words!)

I love your reviews! I love your ideas! I love hearing what you guys liked best! Please keep sending me your thoughts :D


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